


true crime

by suhoya



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: (repressed) Mutual Pining, Alternate Universe - Yakuza, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Tattoos, kashira-boss Erwin & subordinate-bodyguard Levi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:47:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29319621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suhoya/pseuds/suhoya
Summary: Fight for your own survival until you find someone to survive for.
Relationships: Levi/Erwin Smith
Comments: 17
Kudos: 66





	1. acceptance speech

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> looks like saezuru and yakuza 0 gave me enough confidence to give a try at a yakuza AU. I may add more tags regarding new characters and themes as I publish new chapters so I avoid revealing anything, but I must say in advance that the relationship between Erwin and Levi and the events surrounding them will be reminiscent to canon BUT with a “happy ending”, because we’ve suffered enough.
> 
> I’ve planned this to last for 5 chapters. I’m very excited and had lots of fun writing it, I hope you have a good time too.
> 
> [disclaimer: chapter titles and verses before each one belong to epik high. lost track of how many times their music has inspired me.]

* * *

_if it seemed that I feel distant_

_don’t you cross this line I’ve drawn as thick as my scars_

_I’m not gonna be fooled again_

_because those blades underneath your smiles_

_have left me bloody_

[x](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUEWtlVZVb4)

* * *

If there was one thing Levi excelled at was surviving.

His life had been going from one place to another, from a pair of arms to others. As a child, he was a burden. He learnt soon enough that life was leading him towards alienation. Scornful looks all around, disgusting spits on the pavement, smeared blood on the walls.

Nobody paid attention to him, just another feeble orphan’s life pending in the streets. To the majority of people, the homeless were mere ghosts, but Levi did well in the shadows.

Up until the age of nine, he was a famished looking boy, and the kindest neighbours pitied homeless children. They would give him crunchy leftovers, and he could live off that for some years. Once he got older and less childish, he started to see a change in people’s attitudes. He was suddenly dismissed, kicked out and yelled at. No one wanted to be near him. He was no longer welcome.

The first time he had seen fresh blood ever come out of someone’s body was the first day he stole a loaf of bread.

There was a small bakery which every Sunday morning oozed of mouth-watering bread and pastries. Levi ate a total of two middle-sized dishes a week on average at that time, so by the end of it, he always grew desperate. That day was crowded and noisy, and he had already caught several women’s attention by wandering around the property in beggar attire. They scoffed at him, with no intention of hiding the fact that Levi’s existence revolted them. At dusk, when the bakery was nearly empty and no one else was there to scowl at him, he dashed to the inside of the shop in means of getting his last, healthy meal in a few days. To his shame, the owner snatched his arm before he could run away. They wrestled, but Levi was trained, agile, and smaller, so he got rid of the man’s grip in no time. What he didn’t count on was that his other hand had grabbed a knife from the counter and was aiming at his head.

The next thing he managed to see were bursts of vivid red liquid flowing down the man’s forehead. He couldn’t hear anything, but he could swear his body told him to _run_.

Adulthood felt easier, much to Levi’s dark history. Once he embraced the hidden, forbidden activities of the night life, he realized he wouldn’t ache for a single ounce of food not reaching his stomach ever again. That was all it took to feel at ease after so much agony.

Gangs and secret organizations which practiced the fine arts of blackmailing, infiltrating and even killing, used their word of mouth to spread Levi’s deeds among the interested. A young man in his twenties, brought up alone in the streets, with no troublesome connections nor other purpose in life but to survive was the perfect bullet for risky tasks. They only needed money to cover for it.

And Levi got used to it, because he was best at it. By the time he reached his third decade of existence, he had become one with death. Once the extorsions, threats and attacks were no longer fruitful, death would eventually knock on their doors.

The second body that died by his hands haunted him for as long as the third one took its place and overlapped. They would add up in the depths of his mind so irrevocably quickly that the only way to keep him from going insane was to remind himself it was either their lives – or his.

Levi knew it was already too late to go back.

Nicholas Lovof had turned into his most reliable source of income. He always paid half in advance, although his requests were getting shadier each time. Lovof was a greedy, middle-aged gang leader who dealt with drug trafficking and extorsion. Levi had been working for him for months on end. They didn’t know much about each other. What linked them was the inevitable need of lawbreaking and money.

On a freezing evening, Lovof called on him for his next assignment. Levi met up with him in one of his old quarters at an abandoned office building. The place was stinky and full of rust everywhere. Levi grimaced at each step forward.

Lovof was awaiting him in a secluded room, in front of a desk, arms folded.

“Took you long enough to get here. You with a chick?”

“Shut the fuck up and get to business, you old geezer,” Levi wasn’t in the mood for jokes that day.

Lovof was aware it wasn’t a good idea to make Levi mad. As persuasive and intimidating as he could be, their strength was so uneven that Lovof would always be at a loss if things got heated.

“This’ your new man,” he coughed and tossed him a file with a picture attached at the top.

Levi peeped into the file, but didn’t expect the picture to catch his attention first. He removed the photo to take a closer look. His new target wasn’t gaunt looking like the ones he was used to track down – rather the complete opposite. Blonde hair, stoic presence with a flawless light grey suit, around his late thirties.

“Seems... high profile, this one. He a big fish?”

“Somehow. He's the strongest _wakagashira_ of the Shiganshina clan. Clear first in line of succession for whenever their patriarch Zackly bites the dust. That might take a while, though. Still, can’t deny the man’s very influential.”

“Shiganshina… clan? Is that…” Levi had become absorbed by his appearance he hadn’t been listening to what Lovof was telling him. He tried to remember where he had heard of that name before. Something then clicked. “Wait—we messing with the yakuza now?”

“You’ve messed with them before, they’re very well spread out around the city. This time, though, they’re the real ones, not lame apprentices. You are to retrieve confidential documents from his loaning company,” he double tapped on the top of the file. There was a logo with two wings and the company’s name – Wings of Freedom.

“And the plan is?” Levi ventured.

“Read the fucking file.”

Levi snapped his tongue. “I never read the fucking files. Just tell me.”

Lovof scratched the back of his bald head. “Go in unnoticed as you always do. Retrieve the documents that are probably in his office.”

Infiltration, the easiest ones.

“However,” Lovof continued, “that’s only half the reward. You ought to attack him, send him a message.”

Levi’s head cocked, questioningly.

“I ought to? Is this mandatory or not? There’s a hell of a difference.”

Lovof smirked, while his eyes narrowed, sketching.

“If you kill him, the reward is five times the sum.”

Levi stood still, then scoffed as loud as he almost never did.

“Alright, man. Something’s fishy here. Are you gonna tell me?”

“I told you. The man’s influential. Worth the cost.”

Levi reflected on the situation. He had to infiltrate, and, if possible, get the man killed. The only reason why he’d stain his hands for money was if he were in dire need. He wasn’t rock bottom on that matter yet, but the high prize was tempting enough.

He stared at the man’s photograph, still in his hand.

_What a shame for such a handsome fucker._

He crumpled it in his fist and put it inside his jeans’ pocket. With his other hand, he grasped the file on the desk, and without uttering a farewell, he left the room.

Levi decided to go for it the following day. He considered going in full daylight – there was an enigmatic urge coiling in him to finish this task as soon as possible. He discarded the thought after checking how crowded the place was.

The property was in what underground people called the Maria district of the city, known to be one of the many yakuza business areas around which offered loaning services, massage saloons and nightclubs.

The loan company could be found in one of those faded old three-story office buildings. After checking the file and the place itself, he confirmed Wings of Freedom took a considerable space of two full floors. There were wide windows over the façade, but Levi couldn’t tell whether any belonged to the office he was looking for.

Levi observed how men in suits of different shades and shapes came in and out quite often. It was quite challenging to tell apart who were employees and who were clients. His target wouldn’t appear, and Levi had already been sneaking around corners and alleys for many hours without any leads. He left close to lunchtime, planning to come back at nighttime.

The place exuded an infectious eeriness very late into the evening. Levi wondered what time would be best to sneak in, since he had to find the man inside as well, but with as less companions as possible. What he considered, though, was to steal the documents safely and maybe come back a second time once he had guessed a suitable time to find the target alone.

He couldn’t wait anymore, and when his watch displayed half past eleven, he rushed towards the entrance gate. There were no exit doors as the building was really old. The lights in the hallway were the only ones on, so he expected the floors to be empty. Maybe, if he was lucky, the target would be still working around.

He went upstairs in silent, his right hand holding his pocket knife tightly. After so many years of doing the same kind of infiltrations, there was a point where he almost memorized all possibilities of room arrangements in this kind of buildings. Usually, the boss’ office was located at a central area on the floor, close to exits or stairs but making sure it wasn’t the noisiest. The first floor on that building was a very open area with two long rows of computers and desks, and a couple offices on both sides which would probably belong to managers or accountants. There wasn’t a single sound besides the ones coming from the street.

_Second floor it is then._

Levi climbed another set of stairs, the grip in his hand getting stronger. His breathing was almost undetectable and his body blended perfectly with the darkness as usual. That was the only reason Levi had come to terms with his small size long ago – perhaps he was meant to be for this kind of job.

When he reached the last step, he noticed this was the floor. The whole thing looked way more polished and private. More suitable for confidential meetings and business talk. He treaded lightly, measuring every step of the way, checking for any disturbance be it as subtle as it could. He glanced around, a couple of offices with their doors closed by the end of the right isle. The one on the left should have the façade window.

 _Could be that one._ _Keeping an eye on the streets._

The faint light from the posts outside helped him navigate the place at ease. The floors were clean, walls clear, and corners free. He stood in front of the potential right door, ready to take out his lockpick if needed. He turned the doorknob – it wasn’t locked.

He waited a few seconds, and with his fist gripping the knife raised over his chest, he swung the door open.

His eyes travelled to the end of the room, a big desk in front of the window that faced the street.

Behind that desk, there sat his target.

It took him way too long to realize there was someone else in the room, and when he turned to his side, knife aimed at him, he was immediately knocked down. His head hit the floor with a loud thud, and Levi shrieked in pain.

“I always smell rats like you the easiest,” he could hear a low guttural voice over him.

“You never cease to amaze me with that instinct of yours, Mike,” said a second voice, further away.

Levi’s head was spinning, his cheek frozen in contact with the cold tiles on the floor. He struggled around impulsively, but he was pinned, the man who attacked him probably bigger was holding him steady in place.

A faint metal screech was heard among the silence of the office, and then Levi heard steps coming closer. He squinted his eyes, and next his fucking target was kneeling before him.

“Erwin… Smith,” he spat.

“You did your homework, stranger,” he said, voice almost cheerful. “Mike, free him.”

“What?”

“I want to speak to him under the same conditions.”

“He was about to kill you.”

“I know. And I could do the same now. We’re even.”

Mike clicked his tongue and released Levi. He stood up, and Levi could see how the man’s forearm was bleeding and his knife was on the floor, stained.

Levi smiled to himself. He sat up, finally facing Erwin Smith.

Their eyes locked.

“What’s your name?”

Erwin’s eyes were sparkling blue even in such dim light. Levi held his gaze.

“Levi.”

“Levi,” he repeated. “I want to offer you a deal.”

Mike’s feet dragged heavily on the floor.

Levi remained silent.

“I want you to join us.”

“Erwin?” Mike called out, visibly tense.

Erwin raised his palm.

“What do you think?” he addressed Levi.

Levi was startled, but tried to keep his composure lowkey cautious.

“I could’ve killed you, right here. If you had been alone,” Levi was bad at lying, but his hostile tone didn’t flinch.

“But you didn’t. I assume you were just following your boss’ orders, which makes you–“ he paused, tongue over his lips, narrowed eyes. “Trustworthy. Valuable. Those virtues are always welcome in this family. I’ve done nothing to you, therefore you can’t hold any grudge against me.”

Levi squinted, his head still sore from the blow and ears buzzing. Was he hearing right? His fucking target wanted _him_?

“So?” Erwin’s striking blue irises were piercing him with a tame superiority it drove Levi mad. Everything was so accurately well-executed he felt he had no choice.

Only that he had a choice, which would keep him miserable and indebted until death couldn’t escape him at last.

Honestly Lovof could go fuck himself for all he cared. He already got a fucking head smash out of it and no documents. Not worth going forward.

He had nothing else to lose. Perhaps it was time to switch bands.

“He might send someone after me because of treachery,” Levi managed to say.

“I’ll see to that matter personally. For now, you’re safe here. If you accept, that is.”

“I’ll defend myself just fine.”

“That, I’m sure. Your reflexes are outstanding. So is your sharp tongue.”

Mike bent down, close to him.

“Erwin, you must think this through. What if he’s a mole?”

Erwin said nothing but a confident smile spread on his face. He stood up and offered his hand to Levi.

Levi stared at him, but didn’t hold his hand. He stood up next and touched his head, checking for any open wounds.

“You could’ve told your fucking bodyguard to be a bit less aggressive if this was going to become a damn business deal.”

Mike breathed out through his nose in disgust.

“We’re never so sure about intruders. Forgive his manners,” Erwin added.

Levi picked his knife up, and cleaned the blade with a handkerchief he always carried in his pocket.

“Who was your boss? The one who told you to kill Erwin,” Mike asked, arms crossed, still irritated by how the situation turned out.

Levi looked up, fingers lingering on the clean blade, cockily. Mike noticed, and his brows frowned even harder.

“Nicholas Lovof,” he said, and Mike turned to Erwin, both sharing a secret glance. “But he wasn’t my boss. Just worked for him.”

“I see,” Erwin said in a calm voice. “Well, I’d like to discuss this further, but it’s getting quite late. Where are you staying, Levi?”

Levi’s place was quite far away from this district, and on top of that, Lovof knew his spot.

Before Levi could answer, Erwin went on.

“Wait, Kirstein lives nearby. I’ll phone him.”

Mike looked at him, impossible to hide any more offense.

Erwin grabbed his mobile phone and dialed a number.

Levi glanced at Mike. Mike was visibly scandalized, which only made him feel better.

Erwin was talking on the phone, giving a quick and naïve explanation as to what had really happened.

“Can he stay at your apartment, then? Until we find him a better place,” Erwin nodded, said thank you, and ended the call. “He agreed. He’s coming round now.”

“Shall I tell Hange the… news,” Mike offered.

“There’s no rush. We can hold a meeting tomorrow morning. But thank you too, Mike.”

Mike sighed, his chest a bit more relaxed.

“You might be with us now, but I don’t trust you a single bit,” he threatened with a serious face.

Levi didn’t hold back his disdain.

“Good,” he replied, dryly.

The three men left the building and met up with the subordinate that was going to let Levi stay the night over.

The man arrived, looking almost a decade younger than them, cheeks a bit flushed, clearly inebriated. He introduced himself as Jean, and he was as tall as Erwin and Mike. Levi winced at the realization. Everyone was a fucking tree in this business?

“See you tomorrow, Levi. Same place, no surprises this time.” Erwin waved goodbye under the stern look of Mike beside him.

Levi watched how the two men vanished through an alley, and followed the unpleasant smell of his new companion the opposite way.

Jean’s apartment consisted of a small squared room and a bathroom. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the worst thing about it.

“How the hell can you live here? This is a garbage dump.”

The place was covered in shit everywhere. Levi’s eyes travelled left and right, regretting ever accepting the offer to spend the night there.

He couldn’t help but grab the empty cans of beer, noodles cups and plates with stuck, ingrained sauce from leftovers and threw it all in a plastic bag. He rushed to the wastebins outside the apartment, and the sudden, cold breeze of the evening seemed to relax him miraculously. It was astonishing how well he responded to the touch of dusk.

When he came back, he found Jean leaning on the wooden mat floor, a drowsy look over him.

“Thank you, man. I haven’t had the chance this week to clean my mess.”

 _This week?_ Levi thought.

“By the way, did you guys fuck yet?”

Levi turned on his feet.

“Excuse me?” he glared at him.

“Guess not,” Jean flashed a condescending grin. “Well, he’s about to make you his new bitch. Must be delighted.”

“I’m no one’s bitch, so watch your mouth, asshole.”

“Hey. We’re brothers now. Learn the manners,” he raised his hand to cover his mouth and let out a long yawn come out. He rubbed the corner of his left eye which seemingly dripped a tear. “What I said is true, though. Rumour has it Erwin lusts over obedient puppies like you. It’s a matter of time he lets you fuck him.”

Jean curled on his side, scratching his stomach. Levi kept glaring, ready to charge at him if he overlapped any more unsolicited commentary.

“Not that I care who he sleeps with, he’s my boss and I respect him. Just thought you might rehearse first. Heard he can last for hours. Probably not a good idea to leave a clumsy first impression.”

Levi was on edge, but his last drop of patience reminded him that he had nowhere else to go, and this was the start of a hopeful better yet still criminal life. Bearing something as innocuous as the childish gossiping among younger brothers was an idle task he would need to get used to it sooner or later. In fact, he had got used to worse things.

Thus, he decided to ignore Jean’s stupid advice and turned on his back, arms crossed, facing the wall on the other side of the room. It was cold, the room reeked of sweat, tobacco and a mix of spice and instant ramen he felt like throwing up.

He wished fairer days would come before long.

It was nearly nine in the morning, and Erwin’s office was lively compared to the night before. He and Mike had spent almost and hour catching up with Hange, their chief officer and accountant, discussing the recent unfolding of events.

“I still can’t believe we accepted him in the Shiganshina family like no big deal. He has no manners.”

Erwin smiled with visible amusement.

“I remember you being quite the eccentric as well, Mike.” Hange cued Erwin’s statement by nodding profusely. “As to Levi… I’m intrigued by him. Reminds me of a stray dog, downcast looking for a kind master.”

“ _Rabid_ dog, perhaps,” pointed out Mike.

“Come on, Mike, are you jealous or what? Never seen you bullying a new subordinate like this before,” Hange nudged him playfully. “Now I’m eager to meet him!”

Mike rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed.

“Well, I’m outta here since my judgement is being over questioned, it seems. Fill me in when he fucks it up and I’ll cover, as usual.”

Erwin’s eyes followed Mike step out of the office with a steady, long look.

“Off the record, I do think he’s kind of jealous,” Hange added through their teeth.

Erwin’s gaze was still lingering at the door. Hange turned around and saw Levi, freshly groomed, grey shirt and black pants, with a couple band aids on his unreadable face. Hange scanned him quickly. He wasn’t quite like what was expected of someone planning to try to murder Erwin.

“Welcome, Levi. You’re early,” Erwin saluted, standing up, strolling away from the desk.

Levi said nothing, only nodded.

Hange glanced at both, then bowed at Erwin.

Erwin nodded back and granted their dismissal.

Hange seemed anxious, fidgeting with the file on their hands. “Boss, may I--?”

“Later, Hange. I need a moment with him.”

Erwin’s words casted a shadow over Hange’s face, but didn’t question further.

Once the door was shut, Levi’s stance relaxed, his sunken but lurking expression as it looked the day before. Erwin paced around for a few steps, then sat down on the front couch.

“So, how’s been your first night? Did you get to know Kirstein?”

Levi winced, as if pondering the subtle meaning of that question. He threw out any second thoughts in his mind. His head was still a bit numb. He hadn’t slept as well as he should have. At least he had taken a shower but was still wearing his dark clothes from yesterday’s.

“‘Was fine,” he answered, tone indifferent. He’d rather not talk about his irritating roommate. “Room was filthy as shit, though.”

Erwin smiled.

“I’m afraid he isn’t very keen on house chores. Rest assured, since we shall find you another room of your own soon enough. End of this week, at most. Closer to mine.”

Levi’s eyes widened. Erwin signaled him with his palm to sit opposite him, on the other couch. They were pristine, light grey leather. Levi felt grateful – everything in Erwin’s room looked spotless and minimal, as opposed to the awful apartment he had to spend the night in.

Once he sat down, Erwin spoke again.

“We— well, “ he scoffed a little, as if he was embarrassed by his own slip of the tongue. “ _I_ have decided to hire you as my own personal bodyguard.”

He crossed his legs and leaned forward, hands laced on his knee.

“After your infiltration, we have considered I might be in the spotlight for future sneak attacks. There are some rumours regarding Lovof’s intentions against me, and they may stretch further than his own domains.”

Levi said nothing.

“This world doesn’t cease on hiding its scoundrels in every corner, you see.”

That made Levi raise an eyebrow.

“You still don’t trust me.”

“Well, you did try to kill me,” he pointed out, and he was right. “But I’m not offended. That’s part of this job. And I’m sorry to tell you, you weren’t the first to try it.”

“Should I feel flattered?”

“You must. That’s why I want you by my side.”

Levi examined Erwin’s cool pose for a while. Erwin looked back at him as if his presence had never meant to be a threat to his life.

“I do have a question,” he finally dared to ask. “Why did you offer to recruit me?”

Erwin shifted on the couch a bit, and leaned on his back. His posture was more serious and formal now.

“I saw it in your eyes. The way you tense when you’re on guard. You’re visceral. There’s some veiled hatred deep-rooted within you. As though you don’t understand how the world around you works, but you yearn to belong, so you adapt. And you fight your own way.”

Levi’s body stiffened. Instinctively, he clenched his hands on his lap. He saw Erwin’s gaze low down, analyzing him.

“I believe we might have more in common than it shows,” he concluded, and stood up.

Levi followed suit. His body felt still tense from the unexpected speech, and he shrugged while giving himself a few squeezes on his shoulders.

Erwin gave him a concealed look. “Bring all your belongings here or to Kirstein’s until you get your own. Get everything you need, or ask for it. Besides that, just rest for today.”

Levi stared at him, not sure how their relationship was supposed to unfold, how he should address him from now on.

Erwin turned his back on him and headed to his desk.

“You may leave now,” he granted and grabbed a pack of cigarettes that was lying on it. He put one in his mouth, and as he was about to light it, Levi strode to him and held his lighter upwards.

“Boss,” he excused himself after a faint cough, eyes up.

Their height difference looked striking at such short distance, and Erwin’s mouth crease curved faintly. He leaned down, the thin white cigarette between his lips sticking out, and Levi noticed for the first time how attractive Erwin Smith was.

His skin was thick but shining healthily, as it was his blonde, perfectly parted hair, few strands disheveled over his forehead. Big, serious eyebrows, high cheekbones, prominent nose, broad jaw.

Every inch of his was brimming with authority and success.

Levi held the lighter until the flame burnt the tip.

“Thank you, Levi,” Erwin said, and took a long drag off it.

He exhaled while lifting his chin, lower lip over his upper one so as to send the smoke toward the ceiling. Levi wondered if he did that on purpose because of him.

“You learn quickly. As I foresaw.”

Then, Erwin looked back at him, eyes firmly focused on his face. Levi stood still, when unexpectedly Erwin stepped even closer, their faces less than a palm away, with his big hand looming over Levi’s cheek. Gently, he pulled a strip of band aid away under Levi’s alert stare.

“Sorry. It was half off.” Erwin kept on scrutinizing his face for long, heavy seconds, until he turned away back to his desk. “It will heal better without it.”

Levi stood there, stunned, for a couple seconds, then gave a short bow and exited the room.

Memories of last night’s talk began to storm in his head.

His hands curled into fists as he fled the building, pulse agitated.

The chilly morning breeze tickled the now bare yet bruised patch of skin on his face.

_Erwin lusts over obedient puppies like you._

Levi couldn’t shake off the stirring thought that Erwin’s fingers hadn’t even grazed his skin, but the disgusting smoke of his cigarette had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed the start of this story. thank you lots for reading. <3
> 
> see you soon on next chapter: _lesson zero_.


	2. lesson zero

* * *

_they teach you to heed the word of a god who has never spoken_

_to fear breaking the law when it's already broken_

_that to feel is to be weak, to suppress emotion_

_so no one sees you had a heart 'till your chest is open_

[x](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oF8kBwaVYb0)

* * *

Levi had never had a home.

This time wasn’t going to be any different, he thought, while packing just a sports bag with all his belongings which only included dull dark clothes and a couple scratched weapons – two knives and the first gun he had been given many years ago.

It wasn’t like Levi had any kind of emotional attachment to it, but it served as a good reminder of who he was and who he’d always be.

Switching sides to the yakuza now wouldn’t erase the fact that he started as a street thug, turned into basically a mercenary, to finally embrace an actual family of criminality.

Even without his few things around, his old room remained the same. He gave a last look around.

It was as if nobody had ever lived there. No decoration, no memories, no people.

In hindsight, it was undoubtedly meant to be. Levi grew up in the shadows until they had become one with him.

He might as well carry that fate with no regrets.

The place that Erwin would find for him was supposed to be near his, as it was deemed required for his new bodyguard position. In the meantime, he was to stay at Jean’s for a couple more nights.

When he got back late in the afternoon that very first day, Jean was already back from work, preparing some hot and pleasant-smelling dinner in its tiny stove. The room wasn’t as dirty as the night before – Levi wondered if Jean had actually cleaned the place himself.

Levi saluted and dropped his bag on his own corner in the room.

“Where were you today? I heard Erwin say you’re his new bodyguard but haven’t seen you with him at all.”

“I went back to my old place to fetch my…” Levi looked at his only bag, blatantly ludicrous if anyone told you that was his only belongings in over 30 years, “stuff.”

“Hm—“, Jean side-eyed him briefly. He was stirring a hotpot with what smelled like a stew. Then, his expression became more worried. “Hey, about last night…”

Now it was Levi’s time to side-eye him.

“I was a bit drunk. Sorry I was too blunt over your relationship with Erwin.”

“You mean when you said I was his new bitch?”

Jean’s cheeks reddened and his eyes looked away, back to the cooker.

“Uh—yeah, that—yeah, I’m… sorry. That was very careless of me. My tongue slipped way too far.”

“Definitely,” Levi pointed out, arms crossed. “I’ve barely known him for half a day, and then you spit he fucks guys like me. Very interesting welcome for the guy who could slit your throat during your sleep.”

Jean gulped and turned around, visibly unsettled.

“H-hey, it’s nice to see you’re taking your new position seriously, but really—forgive my manners last night. I’d like us to become good brothers. Shinganshina is a great family. I hope you’ll feel like home around here.”

Levi’s stare relaxed. This guy was as innocent as a child. Levi felt the weighty, passing of time around both their ages as a reminder of how little he actually interacted with people. He had never had a home because he had never had a family.

Perhaps this could be the one, somehow.

“If you’d like to taste some of my stew, it’s gonna be ready in less than 10 minutes,” Jean said in a warming tone.

Levi thought that sounded like a great plan.

“I’ll go take a bath in the meantime,” he replied, grabbing a fresh change of clothes from his bag, and headed to the only other door in their apartment where the bathroom was.

Levi shut the sliding door behind him, and let out a long exhale.

Everything had changed so abruptly in such a short time he was feeling a bit overwhelmed. How could he have ever imagined he’d be sharing a room with someone in the yakuza, plus being hired by their boss? The more he thought about it, the less sense it all made.

He left his clothes on the sink and started to undress. He took his wallet and pocket knife out of his jeans, but then his hand noticed something else.

Erwin’s picture from Lovof’s file was still crumpled in his left pocket. He smoothed it out over his palm. Now the Erwin in the photo had creases all around his face, and the colours had faded a little. Levi kind of felt sorry about the state of it. He folded it carefully and put it inside his wallet. He wasn’t sure where else to keep it, and tried not to give much thought to the fact that he was carrying his boss’ photo around.

The water in the bath was lukewarm so he heated it up a bit while he scrubbed and washed his body thoroughly, sitting on the stool next to it. He could hear Jean whistling some kind of tune on the other side of the door.

Once he rinsed himself and hopped into the hot bath, his thoughts and wonders completely vanished. He stretched his legs and braced his arms on the surface, submerging himself. Only in times like this he could relax and let his mind roam free from any distress. He had nightmares every week, so sleeping peacefully was hardly ever an option. He was used to spending his nights in a watchful state, a sick consequence of living in the threatening streets for so many years.

Levi stared at the ceiling, steam flowing upwards. Time had seemingly stopped in such calm and soothing time. He almost fell asleep.

Jean’s homemade stew was more delicious than what Levi could’ve guessed. He also learned how Jean was more mature than his very first impression seemed to show, and they ended up playing several rounds of cards while cracking a couple cans of beer.

Levi should’ve felt awkward, overwhelmed, confused. The truth was that he felt liberated.

That second night, he slept better. Jean, on the contrary, twitched as if he were having bad dreams.

Levi heard him mumble a name a few times. He wondered if he would ever remember a name meaningful enough to haunt him in dreams, too.

The next morning, Levi and Jean headed to the loaning house offices together. It was barely eight past but the building was crowded with men in suits. They stopped at the first floor where all the computer desks were occupied by subordinates typing and checking their clients’ finances.

Levi heard someone call his name in a joyful tone.

“So good to finally meet you!” the person who Erwin and Mike referred as Hange the day before was dashing towards them.

Levi remembered Hange was some kind of lead officer by the way they talked, so he gave a quick polite bow.

Hange mirrored him and tapped his shoulder excitedly.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe someone this short managed to give Mike a cut in his arm?” Hange cackled.

Levi’s gaze turned deadly. Jean, who was standing behind them, gasped.

“What? You attacked Mike?”

Hange was holding an unstrained laughter, their eyes half lidded behind the glasses.

“If only! This man here has got so much to show us yet. I’m fascinated by your skills, Levi. I hope we can work well together in this new promising stage. Hange Zöe, chief officer and Erwin’s accountant,” Hange stated with their palm over their chest.

Levi’s pursed lips softened when his eyes noticed Erwin’s figure appear on the corner, coming downstairs. He looked impeccable and opulent, wearing a grey suit and vest, black shirt and silver tie. His hair remained well groomed, as shiny as gold.

Levi had never seen someone so gracious – so much that he was unsettlingly captivating.

Hange followed Levi’s absorbed stare and turned around.

“Boss! I was welcoming Levi at long last.”

Erwin gave them a cordial smile.

“I heard, Hange. As usual, you can’t contain your enthusiasm wherever something new occurs.” He then turned to Levi, “Morning, Levi. Would you mind following me upstairs? There are plans settled for today already.”

“Are you guys going somewhere?” asked Hange.

“We’re visiting Shadis.”

“Oh, shoot! Please, give him my best wishes,” and then Hange gave a quick bow.

“I will,” Erwin replied, and signaled Levi to leave.

The second floor wasn’t as busy as the first one, but still some workers were strolling around the corridor. Now that Levi knew where Erwin’s office was, he wondered who else beside him and Mike gathered on that floor.

Levi followed Erwin inside his office and closed the door behind him. Erwin walked to his desk and sat on his chair, lowering his head to search for something in the drawers.

“Your face looks better,” he muttered distractedly, without looking up.

Levi tilted his head in confusion.

“What?”

“Your face. It’s not swollen anymore. I assume your bruise healed overnight.”

 _Oh, right._ His face. He was smacked to the ground two nights ago and forgot he’d scratched his cheek. He then realized he hadn’t seen himself in a mirror since he’d put those band-aids on.

“Guess I should be grateful to that bloodhound of yours, didn’t beat me up that bad.”

Erwin snickered much to Levi’s surprise.

“If it weren’t for Mike maybe I wouldn’t be here now, would I?”

Levi’s gaze hardened.

“Did you really come here to kill me that night?” Erwin asked, suddenly with a very serious tone.

Levi hesitated to respond for a few seconds. His memories about that plan were starting to become a figment of his imagination.

“I did. The job was to steal some confidential documents, allegedly related to your loans. On top of that, killing you was gonna get me a better pay.”

Erwin hummed, showing sheer interest.

“May I ask how much my life’s worth?”

Levi locked his gaze even they were a few meters apart.

“A seven figure sum.”

Erwin nodded to himself, his eyes apparently losing focus.

“Sounds higher than what was asked of me last year. I wonder why—”

“I think that was bullshit,” Levi interrupted.

“Pardon?”

Levi walked closer towards Erwin’s desk, and leaned on the back of one of the couches. He crossed his arms.

“I told Lovof the plan felt off. It’s the first time I’ve been offered so much cash for a single hit. Plus, your death wasn’t the main objective. Sounded shady as hell, if you ask me.”

Erwin was listening to Levi’s concerns, his expression unaltered.

“I mentioned to you yesterday that there might be someone who’s after me and the group as well. We’re considering keeping a low stance on some… deals we’ve been running up lately. As you may have realized by now, the loan company is only one of our many prolific businesses.”

Of course Levi knew. Everybody knew the yakuza pulled countless of strings.

“The thing is, now that I’ve got you as a bodyguard, I should feel more confident about my well-being.”

Levi wondered if Erwin had ever killed anyone. Deep inside, he guessed he had. However, Erwin didn’t look as the kind of man to stain his hands directly.

“Will you give your life for me, Levi?”

Levi was taken aback, but his gaze and feet remained steady.

“I accepted the job, didn’t I.”

“And are you okay with everything which that entails?”

Levi didn’t balk.

“I’ll be fine. And you will, too.”

Erwin kept looking at him, examining every centimeter of his face, trying to spot any hint of hesitation. He finally exhaled, releasing some tension from his shoulders.

“Alright, Levi. Let’s get to work.”

Erwin placed a mobile phone and a set of keys on his desk.

“I’ve got you a personal new phone, all contacts from the office are already in. Feel free to use it as only work-related, if you wish to keep your own.”

Levi didn’t have any reasons to keep his old phone when he had nobody to call.

“As for the keys, they include my office’s, the entrance gate’s and your new apartment’s.”

Levi’s eyes lifted.

“Already?”

Erwin smiled kindly.

“I imagined that as thrilling as sharing a room with Jean might be, you’d rather spend your leisure time on your own at the earliest.”

Levi shot Erwin a stale look, and Erwin’s smile widened. He gestured the items with an open palm, and Levi approached his desk. He grabbed the phone and the keys and shoved them onto his pockets.

“So… what was the plan for today you told Hange earlier?” he inquired.

Erwin stood up and fixed his tie.

“Someone’s eager to start working. I love to hear that.” Erwin headed to the door and Levi followed behind. Before opening the door, Erwin asked, “Can you drive, Levi?”

“Huh—Motorbikes.”

Erwin looked down at him with bright eyes. “We’ll take a cab, then.”

Erwin didn’t speak much inside the cab, and Levi spent the time with his eyes lost in the landscapes out of the window. He couldn’t recall the last time he had been in the backseat of a car with no rush nor danger over his life.

Levi noticed though how Erwin gave him a couple short, sidelong glances during their route, as if he were about to start a conversation, but he didn’t. Levi assumed the driver wouldn’t be the most appropriate witness to whatever Erwin had meant to say.

The cab stopped at the entrance of the hospital located on the other side of the city. The building was tall and immaculate white, which also consisted of two other wings that spread behind the main façade. This didn’t look as the first option for the majority of the citizens there – it seemed a hospital for people with higher standards of living.

When they got out of the cab, Erwin finally spoke.

“We’re visiting Keith Shadis, elder first lieutenant of the Shiganshina family, who was my boss and mentor until he was diagnosed with lung cancer a couple years ago.”

Levi listened carefully and kept a solemn expression. They reached the front gate and headed to the elevators. The hall was well-organized, clean and very silent to Levi’s surprise. It felt more like a bank than a hospital.

Erwin stepped into the elevator first and Levi followed. Erwin pressed on the button to the 6th floor, and the doors closed. The elevator was big enough for 6 people, and there was a huge mirror on one of the walls.

_What kind of hospital needs a mirror in an elevator?_

But he couldn’t help but stare at his reflection – he looked way better than the previous days. His face, as Erwin pointed out that morning, wasn’t swollen. In fact, it showed as if he hadn’t been hit. His eyes weren’t as sunken as they used to, and he even got some rosy tone on his thin lips.

His figure, however, stood out in the worst way next to Erwin. His boss was beaming with elegant, expensive tailored clothes, which only highlighted his imposing shape, and him – he was wearing a black collared shirt over a turtleneck sweater and grey jeans.

They didn’t match each other at all, and Erwin seemed to note that.

“After we discuss matters with Shadis, there’s another place we ought to step by before heading back to the office.”

Levi took a last downhearted glance at the mirror, but Erwin’s eyes were fixed on him, almost prying. The beeping sound of the floor arrival startled them and both turned around to exit the elevator.

Erwin led him towards the end of the left aisle, a long, silent corridor with plenty of rooms shut. Erwin stood in front of the room 615 and knocked thrice. A muffled voice seemed to respond, and Erwin swung the door open.

On the wide bed, there was a bald man, his back on his pillow against the metallic headboard, and his right hand connected to an IV. Levi examined him – prominent wrinkles on his forehead and temples, deep-set baggy eyes, and faint traces of a beard on his chin. The man struck as much older than he probably was.

“Erwin. So good to see you so soon again.”

His voice was weak and rough, although his stern expression tried to balance out his wasted appearance.

Erwin bowed down before him.

“Shadis- _nii-san_. I brought best wishes from the company.”

“Thank you,” Shadis replied, but the last syllable made him choke a little and started coughing.

Erwin swiftly grabbed the glass of water beside him and offered it to him. Shadis smiled warmly after he took a sip. He cleared his throat before speaking.

“And who’s that little man who accompanied you?”

Levi hid an exasperated sigh against the wall. It seemed he was going to get the same comment on him every time he met a new member of the clan.

Erwin glanced back at him and his eyes hinted an apology.

“Levi is my bodyguard. Don’t judge his skills by his appearance.”

“Oh.”

Shadis shifted on his bed and stretched his legs in a more comfortable position.

“You’ve been in peril recently, Erwin? I thought you didn’t want a bodyguard since what occurred last year.”

Levi saw how Erwin’s face darkened.

“I’ve changed my mind, sir,” he simply answered, too short for what was common in Erwin’s speech.

Shadis stared at him, eyes snooping around his stoic expression. He then turned to Levi, who was still leaning on the room wall, giving them more personal space.

“You made yet another right decision. We can’t risk losing you.” Shadis’ eyes pierced Levi’s throughout the room.

Then, an electronic beep began ringing from Erwin’s, which he quickly snatched coming from his phone. He checked the display and raised his palm to excuse himself. He dashed towards the door and shut it with an easy click.

The room turned heavier once Erwin was out, and Levi was still being cornered by Shadis’ questioning look.

“Erwin is a magnificent man. He could’ve become anything he had determined to. Yet, he exceptionally chose this path. We’re so much grateful to have him.”

Levi’s stare remained locked on Shadis’ solemn declaration.

“It’s not on my duties to check up on him anymore, but I’m pleading you – kindly devote your life to him.” Levi’s eyebrows frowned a bit. He couldn’t quite make out why Shadis was being so assertive and personal regarding him and Erwin. “He’s not a man to let anyone down. You’ll understand down the road.”

The door opened at that moment and Levi was left without a chance to reply. Erwin walked past him and sat on the chair beside Shadis’ bed.

“Excuse my intermission. Where were we?”

“I was telling…” Shadis’ gaze travelled from Erwin to Levi, to what Levi finished off by pronouncing his name in a severe voice. Shadis’ echoed him. “…Levi, what a successful man you’ve become over the past few years.”

Erwin’s cheeks rounded in embarrassment.

“I’m merely a simple man in this family. Trying my best to help everyone fulfill their goals.”

“And yours too, Erwin, don’t forget that. Too much responsibility on yourself can blurry your own ambitions.”

Erwin looked down solemnly. Levi saw his hands were fidgeting around on his lap.

“How’s everyone else? You’ve heard of Rose or Sina’s last agreements?”

“A full family meeting has been arranged in less than a month. We’ll be able to lay out and discuss this first term results and debate any unforeseen circumstances that may still come up.”

“Will you get in trouble with Nile again?”

Erwin held a lazy smirk.

“I think we’ve been come to terms with each other lately. He seems to finally acknowledge how I carry out Maria’s tasks in a more tolerant manner.”

_Nile. Rose. Sina. Maria._

Blurry memories were overlapping in Levi’s mind. He swore he had heard those names before, perhaps a quick job during last year? Lovof told him he’d already messed with the yakuza. Did he track any of Erwin’s colleagues in the past?

“Please visit me again with any news that may appear, Erwin. Be it good or bad.”

“I will, sir.”

Shadis’ gaunt face wrinkled even more when he gave Erwin a tired smile, which Erwin followed up with a deep, low reverence.

“Pleasure to meet you, Levi. I expect much from you as well.”

Levi straightened up and bowed in response.

“I’ll keep praying for your swift recovery,” Erwin added.

“Send my best regards to everyone back there. Hope you lot keep your head focused and wary.”

“We will, sir.”

Before following Erwin out of the room, Levi took a last glance at Shadis, but the man had already closed his eyes.

This time, Erwin did talk to Levi while in the cab.

“So, the next place we’re heading to actually has to do with you.”

Levi moved away from the window and turned to Erwin.

“What’s that?”

“I noticed—you don’t own any formal wear, right?”

Levi shook his head.

“I assumed. Well, you’re in dire need for some, now that you’re going to accompany me to official meetings and business deals.”

“Just say my clothes are shit, it’s fine.”

Erwin’s stunned expression seemed to disagree.

“I don’t believe they’re _shit_ , Levi,” Levi was actually surprised to hear Erwin curse for the very first time. “They’re just not suitable garments for the work you’re going to be carrying out from now on. I didn’t mean to sound offensive.”

Levi almost chortled.

“I understand. I actually thought so when I saw us in the mirror back in the hospital,” he replied while eyeing Erwin’s chest and thighs, the fabric of his grey suit pristinely ironed. “We’re like day and night.”

Erwin seemed to scan him for a few seconds, as if trying to find a spot on his face he hadn’t seen before. Levi caught him with a faint grin before he turned to face his window.

“I like that comparison,” he remarked, voice softer than usual. Levi stared at his perfectly shaved cut fair hair on his nape. There wasn’t anything from Erwin Smith which wasn’t extremely polished. When Levi realized their short convo had come to an end, he also turned his face to his side. Regardless, Erwin spoke one last time.

“Unlike other people, most nights bring me peace.”

Erwin took him to a custom-tailored dress store a couple blocks away from the offices. That might’ve been the one where Erwin and other colleagues got their own suits, judging by the familiarity and respect the clerks addressed Erwin the moment they stepped in.

“Mr Smith, what a pleasure to welcome you again. I recognize your attire as one of the most striking we’ve ever tailored,” the clerk on the other side of the counter welcomed them.

“It is indeed a remarkable suit. But this time I’m well supplied, thank you. We’ll need a few for this gentleman here instead.”

Another clerk, older and more experienced looking burst in as soon as Erwin spoke.

“Oh, that’s wonderful news, sir. We’ll gladly take his measurements right away. Would you be so kind so as to accompany me, sir?”

Levi had been listening to their whole exchange as if he’d been thrown into the worst of places. He could bear Erwin being over-the-top polite, but the extremely sickening attention from the clerks was driving him mad.

The elder clerk took his body measurements from head to toes swiftly and without any chit-chat, which he thanked. When they returned to the main room, Erwin was pacing around the store distractedly.

“Any particular brand, pattern and fabric for your suits, sir?”

Levi glanced at Erwin, eyes visibly asking for help. Erwin smiled warmly.

“He’ll do well with a couple basic black suits from your latest collection, plus white shirts. And add their correspondent shoes as well, if you don’t mind.”

Levi told him his feet size as the clerk wrote down their order on a book by the counter.

“On behalf of…?”

Erwin and Levi exchanged timid looks.

“Levi,” Erwin replied.

The younger clerk finished scribbling on the paper and placed the pen on the book with a soft thud.

“Alright sirs, expect your order to be made and ready within the next 3 to 5 days. Shall we call you when they’re done?”

“Please do contact me and we’ll come right away. They’re quite urgent,” Erwin’s tone was adamant.

“I understand, sir. We’ll do our best to deliver them promptly.”

“Much obliged.”

Both clerks gave them an accentuated bow and accompanied them toward the exit. Once they were out, Levi let out an exaggerated sigh.

“That was so fucking excessive.”

Erwin looked at him innocently surprised.

“Was it?”

“You don’t realize how you behave in such places? Shit, it’s so— embarrassingly classy.”

“Hm—I guess I’m used to it,” he replied not giving it much second thought. “By the way, you should purchase casual wear as well. You needn’t dress formally all the time. Spend some on clothes for your own personal affairs.”

Levi snorted shakily. As if he had any personal affairs.

“I know another store nearby where Kirstein and Springer are frequent customers. You might find better suitable wear for you there.”

Levi wasn’t sure if he’d like whatever Jean and this other youngster in the company were supposed to dress like outside of the business. He accepted Erwin’s offer though, and strolled begrudgingly beside him.

The casual wear store wasn’t as bad as he’d imagined, and at least its assistants weren’t talking as if they had sticks up their asses.

Levi walked around the isles, looking for plain, comfortable clothes, but almost everything was covered in patterns and brighter colours. He found a black leather jacket his size with thick cotton collar, and guessed it’d be useful now that winter was around the corner. He grabbed it, and then stopped to look at a set of snake print blazers. A light green and greyish one caught his attention. Perhaps a chance of brighter clothes wouldn’t make him look as pathetic as he did whenever he stood next to Erwin. He checked the size matched his and grabbed it without thinking twice.

Erwin, who was following him a couple steps behind, noticed his newly clutched item.

“That blazer will surely make you stand out. People might stare at you.”

Levi shot him a glare of disbelief. How would people be looking at a fucking midget like him, when they could stare at a six feet blonde sky-eyed walking sculpture.

He swallowed his words, though.

“I doubt so. I’ve always been an outcast.” Levi shrugged. Then, taking another glimpse at the piece of clothing, he turned to Erwin, hesitantly. “Is this gonna be too much? For the clan?” He presumed it wasn’t off limits the yakuza dressing etiquette since animal prints and imagery were quite common, but he assumed it would draw more attention than a regular formal suit, even in his case.

Erwin smiled as if Levi had misunderstood what he really meant. He found Levi’s reluctance quite amusing.

“Not in the slightest. Dress as you see fit.”

Levi shrugged and headed to the cashier.

It was half past eleven when they exited the store. The warm sun was out in the streets after a misty morning, and Levi felt quite refreshed. He was about to ask which next plans for the day were set out to do, when Erwin strode ahead of Levi to face him.

“Take these, too.”

Erwin was holding out a pair of black leather gloves. The tag from the tailoring shop was dangling from the wrist cover.

Levi frowned.

“You’re going to get your hands dirty from now on, plus it’s getting colder every day. I presumed they’d be comfortable for you.”

Erwin had bought them whenever he wasn’t looking, perhaps when he went to the fitting room. Levi was all baffled, but he accepted them timidly. He had never got any gifts before.

Erwin seemed to notice, by the way his eyes half closed tenderly.

“You needn’t have,” Levi muttered in response, because a _thank you_ would make him feel weak. Then, he bowed, as if it’d make it any better. “Boss.”

Erwin hid a shaky breath behind his serene pose.

“I can tell it’s not in your nature to address me as ‘boss’. To be honest, I’d like that you’d call me just Erwin,” and Levi’s eyes glanced up, brows still confused. “At least when it’s the two of us. Not work-related.”

To be fair, Erwin had that way of asking for things in such humble, nonchalant manner for a yakuza lieutenant that Levi wondered if it was an innate skill or hard learnt.

He scanned Erwin’s eyes, and Levi could swear they weren’t as firm as other times they had locked with before.

“Okay.”

Indeed, Erwin’s gaze broke sooner than usual, and he turned around.

“Let’s go back to the office. There’s work to do.”

Levi followed two steps behind.

Since Levi was only a bodyguard, he didn’t have to take part in business deals, meetings and debriefs about plenty of economic matters he had no clue about. Besides standing by the door, or next to Erwin, there wasn’t much else for him to do. He wasn’t sure he should feel thankful or simply bored by such task.

There were a few times in which Erwin dismissed him so he went downstairs where everything was livelier than being enclosed in four walls.

He ran into Hange, who was being accompanied by a fair-haired man checking out a file.

“Levi! How’s your first morning of duty going?”

“Tolerable.”

Hange smirked.

“Did you meet Shadis then?” Levi nodded, and Hange’s chest rose with pride. “He’s a very important figure in Shiganshina. He was the one to declare Erwin to take over when his illness got worse. Not that it came off as a shock to any of us. It was meant to be him to be in charge here.” Hange exchanged glances with the man, who hastily agreed. “This is Moblit, by the way! My assistant.”

Moblit bowed gently and Levi did the same.

Hange then gave a loud clap of hands as if something popped out of their mind.

“Oh shit! Aren’t we supposed to hold a welcome party for you soon?”

“It’s a ceremony, Hange,” Moblit corrected.

“Well, it always ends up being a party! Did Erwin fill you in, Levi?”

“Not—that I recall. I’m not really into parties.”

“You can’t escape this one, you’ve got to be officially accepted by the boss in front of everyone. Guess I’ll go ask him.”

“Did someone mention a party?” Jean showed up next to a shaved cut man around his young age.

“You’re the boss’ new bodyguard?” the other man asked, voice filtering some skepticism.

“Don’t judge the book by its cover, Connie. He managed to leave a cut on Mike.”

Connie’s eyes went wide.

“You’re joking?”

“Wanna check firsthand?” Levi sneered, definitely not joking. He was fed up to meet yet another lame kid in this family who’d mock him and be at least two heads taller than him as well.

Connie shrugged and stepped back, hands up.

“So when’s the ceremony you say, Hange?” Jean asked again.

“I’m on my way to ask Erwin. We’ve got a couple urgent affairs regarding the stock market this week but perhaps it can be held this Friday.”

“That sounds great.”

“Levi, come with me! Let’s put some pressure.”

Erwin gladly accepted Hange’s suggestion to hold Levi’s acceptance ceremony on Friday evening. It’d be a lesser kind of ceremony, more intimate, and they’d have dinner together right before it.

“Shall I book our usual room?”

“Please do. I hope they’ll be free even in such short notice.”

“Well, they gotta accept once I tell them it’s a reservation on behalf of Erwin Smith,” Hange replied, a naughty smile spread over their face.

“You really love this kind of gatherings, don’t you, Hange?” Erwin questioned in a friendly tone.

“Well, sir, it’s been a while since we’ve hold any. Might as well rise our spirits for the upcoming weeks.”

“That’s certainly true. Thank you, Hange, I’ll leave it to you.”

“Boss.”

Hange bent down and exited Erwin’s office.

Levi stayed, and glanced at Erwin, dubiously.

“Is this the ceremony where I pledge allegiance to you and then we get drunk as shit?”

Erwin couldn’t hold a chuckle.

“Very well put, Levi.”

“Well, I guess I can work with that.”

“I hope your new garments arrive on time for the ceremony.”

“Oh, _right_.”

At least on Friday he would finally fit in somehow, Levi thought.

After a couple more hours of work in the office, everyone seemed to end their shifts for the day, and the building was getting less busy.

Erwin reminded Levi he already got the keys for his new apartment, which Levi had nearly forgotten. He was going to spend the night in a place of his own, presumably bigger than Jean’s. As he’d never imagined, things were kind of looking up.

It was sunset by the time Erwin and Levi left the building. As Erwin had told him on the very first day, their apartments would be close to each other. Levi was carrying his stuff in the sports bag he'd brought to Jean’s on one shoulder, his clothing purchases in the morning on his other hand. Erwin stopped by the gate of a modern block of flats after a 10-minute walk.

“This is yours. Last floor, second door. It’s all refurbished, but if you need anything else, do not hesitate to call me.”

Levi nodded silently. Erwin gave him a last sharp look before bidding farewell and heading to his own place.

“Erwin,” Levi called out his name out loud for the first time, and it felt just right on his lips. Erwin turned around swiftly, and Levi shook his keys up in the air. “Thanks.”

Erwin returned his gratitude with a wholehearted smile.

“You’re a member of our family now.”

A smile was threatening to appear on his face as well, but he managed to hold it back until Erwin was far away.

As soon as he opened the door of the 6-2 apartment, a pleasant smell of cleanliness and fresh air welcomed him right away. The first thing he came across was a short hall where he untied his shoes clumsily, and then stepped on the light wooden floor which guided him to a large living room twice the size of Jean’s whole room. On one side, there was the kitchen area separated by a counter. On the front, the curtains were closed, but there seemed to be a pair of wide windows at the end. The room was barely decorated with a couple cupboards, a long sofa and a table with two chairs. On the table, there was a laptop.

Levi dropped his bags on the floor and headed to the only corridor left on the other side with two rooms – his bedroom and the bathroom. Everything was minimal but comfortable enough for him to feel almost like a home.

He let out a long, worn-out exhale.

_You’re a member of our family now._

A few days went by amongst more meetings, cab rides, office visits to other companies, stock tracking, bribing calls, business cards exchanges, and in the blink of an eye, Levi had thoroughly embraced the busy lifestyle of a yakuza clan member.

He adapted to Erwin’s swift strides, and wherever he went, Levi’d be his shadow. He began to observe how people wouldn’t notice him at first, but little by little more glances directed at Erwin would bounce to him, eyes curious and sometimes even wary.

Friday arrived and Levi was lucky enough to have his brand-new custom-made suits ready for that evening’s ceremony. Erwin told him he’d received the clerk’s call confirming their delivery. He also suggested that they could head to the restaurant together in the same cab, since now they lived a block apart from each other.

Ten minutes before seven clocked in, Levi was standing near the road of his building’s front gate, arms crossed, checking for any cabs driving their way. As he saw Erwin turn up around the corner, his pose relaxed and greeted him. Erwin, however, couldn’t hide his astonishment of seeing Levi finally wearing the pristine tailored black suit.

“Oh, Levi—it really… suits you.”

Levi winced.

“You didn’t just make a pun.”

When Erwin lifted off his boss mask, always so professional and serene, he ended up behaving like a big, buff innocent kid. Levi found that quite endearing.

Erwin kept scanning him under his open suit jacket and white collared shirt.

“You’re not wearing a tie?”

Levi tilted his head, facing the road again.

“I’ve—never worn one.”

“Oh,” Erwin managed to utter, late realization popping in his mind. “Well— you may ask me next time.”

“Sure,” Levi replied, and as he raised his arm, a cab pulled over.

Erwin noticed he was wearing the leather gloves he’d given him.

By the time Erwin and Levi arrived at the booked restaurant, almost everyone else was already there – Hange, Moblit, Jean, Connie, Mike, and over twenty more members and workers from the loan house company. Levi suddenly felt overwhelmed that so many people gathered to see him be officially accepted in the clan, but then he remembered everybody would be drunk and feisty enough to pay no attention to whatever the ceremony was supposed to involve.

Everyone was wearing dark suits except Erwin, who was dressed in brighter colours, as was customary of him. This time, his shirt was also white underneath a tight-fitting light brown vest and jacket. His maroon tie was neatly placed on his chest, which contrasted with the fair colours of his figure.

Hange waved at them excitedly and dashed towards the entrance in order to check in. The room they were taken into was a traditional Japanese styled one, with woven straw mats and individual low tables placed in two rows, creating a long aisle which ended in two more tables facing forward.

Levi understood immediately where he and Erwin were meant to sit. Erwin led the way, and Levi followed. They sat down first, and then Hange and Mike on the spots closest to them. One by one, the rest of members came in and took their places.

Erwin turned to him, bending down as if whispering.

“The meals here are incredible.”

“And the drinks?” Levi asked instead.

Erwin narrowed his eyes, amused by Levi’s recurring straightforwardness.

“The best ones.”

“Good. I’ll need it.”

When everybody was well seated and awaiting, Hange glanced at Erwin, and Erwin nodded, invitingly.

Hange cleared their throat and stood up so everyone could hear loud enough.

“Brothers from the Shiganshina family. We’re reunited here today to welcome an extremely striving man who shall protect our dear boss from any unwanted turmoil. He’s shown full resilience and commitment to our cause, and we shall respond with open arms and sincere affection. For Levi, for Erwin, for Shiganshina.”

Everyone remained silent, all eyes focused on Erwin and Levi. Hange sat down and giggled between their teeth.

“How was it?” was a subtle whisper to Moblit, who simply nudged them.

Erwin’s expression was soft and calm. He grabbed the bottle neatly placed on his table and began to pour into Levi’s cup next to him.

Levi’s gaze didn’t leave the liquid falling into his cup. Erwin poured him half the cup, and then proceeded to fill his own.

Levi waited, his eyes following the recipient with questioning thoughts. He wasn’t nervous, but the setting felt hefty and he was only used to silence in empty spaces, not rooms full of people.

Erwin placed the bottle back on his desk and leaned forward to hold Levi’s cup. Levi did the same and grabbed Erwin's. They both raised their cups and Erwin, taking the lead, laced his arm around Levi’s and craned his neck forward in order to take a sip. Levi mirrored him, and both drank from each other’s cups, arms linked.

Levi could smell Erwin’s cologne so close to him it already felt inebriating. The _sake_ was sharp and incendiary on his throat, and he swallowed with his eyes shut.

When he opened them, he could see by the corner of his eyes how Hange was mesmerized by the image, mouth agape almost dripping their own drink. Moblit, right by their side, was offering a handkerchief.

Everyone else seemed to keep staring until he and Erwin released each other’s arm and placed their cups on their tables again.

Hange then knocked twice on their wooden table as if to catch everyone’s attention.

“Okay everyone!! This gonna be the best upcoming year for Shiganshina! Brothers, please raise your cups for our one and only Erwin Smith! He’ll lead us to an endless path of triumph and success!”

Everyone cheered loudly in unison. Mike didn’t, but raised his glass begrudgingly nonetheless. Levi directed his gaze back to Erwin, who was smiling softly at the sudden expression of faith by his subordinates. Erwin was beaming. He truly looked grateful and supported by all those people. His eyes were as vivid and clear as the purest sky on a summer’s day.

Levi wondered if that feeling of bliss on their boss’ face would include him as well.

Two hours later, the food was indeed delightful and they stuffed their stomachs to their limits, but what really stood out was the smell of alcohol, flushed cheeks and dragging syllables in the room.

Hange was way too red and Levi was afraid that’d be actually unhealthy. Moblit kept snatching the sake bottle away from Hange, but wherever he wasn’t looking, Hange was pouring on their cups again.

“Levi! Help me here! Gimme your bottle!” Hange yelled.

Levi grabbed his bottle and turned it upside down, shaking it, and only a couple drops leaked.

“What the hell! You drank all that already?”

“You’re the one with three empty bottles on your table. I’m doing just fine.”

Hange sprawled over the table in defeat.

“Gosh, I need moooooore! Nobody helps their chief officer?”

Erwin had moved to Mike’s side half an hour ago and they were both seemingly discussing work related topics in an unwound state. Levi could see Erwin’s face had turned a bit pink, but he didn’t seem drunk at all.

Jean and Connie had formed a circle of five younger brothers and were keenly chatting and drinking on their own. Everyone else already looked tired, half-lidded eyes and yawns began to spread across the room.

Levi felt the exhaustion of such a long day plummeting onto him, and wondered how long they would drag the feast out.

He actually hadn’t talked much to Erwin during the dinner, and the general mood didn’t seem to ask for it.

For the next twenty minutes, he basically snickered at Hange drooling over their desk and joking around with their drunk gibberish under the concerned dedication of Moblit.

Levi heard Erwin shift on the mats and going back to his seat beside him.

“Levi,” he called. Levi moved around to face him. “I believe it’s high time we put an end to the ceremony.”

Levi took a quick glimpse at the whole room.

“Yeah, everyone’s wasted. Especially Hange.”

Erwin looked at his officer and gave a plain smile.

“Hange’s hangovers are a tough thing. Glad tomorrow’s a day off.”

“I’ll take Hange home, sir,” Moblit offered and Erwin nodded.

Mike stood up and clapped a few times, startling some of the brothers who were half asleep.

“Alright men, time to go. Have a tight sleep tonight, rest for the weekend, and come back fully renewed on Monday.”

Lots of drowsy _yes, sir_ filled the room and everyone began to tidy up and leave. Erwin waited until the room was almost empty, said goodbye to Hange, Moblit and the rest, and only Mike and a couple more remained.

“Welcome to Shiganshina, Levi,” Mike announced in a solemn tone, much to Levi’s confusion.

He retired, tapping on another member’s back as a sign to leave. Erwin and Levi glanced at each other and followed them outdoors.

On the way home, the cab pulled over Erwin’s block and Levi got out of the car to escort Erwin to the entrance.

Erwin almost tripped over the pavement and Levi hurried to cling onto his arm.

“Are you drunk?” he asked, tentatively.

Erwin shook his head and stepped back.

“No—just tipsy. I normally don’t drink much. Just on special occasions like this.”

“You need me to accompany you upstairs?”

Erwin looked down at Levi. He seemed to hesitate for long, heavy seconds.

“Alright. Thank you, Levi.”

Levi followed Erwin inside the building.

Erwin’s apartment wasn’t as luxurious as he’d imagined. Actually, it was pretty similar to his, but much more lived in. There were no pictures, no signs of who actually lived there, though.

“I never asked you in the first place,” Erwin began as he took off his jacket and placed it neatly folded on the back of a chair. “How do you really feel about being my bodyguard?”

Levi slid his palm over his neck, massaging it. The alcohol was sinking in and his body started to feel heavier and dozy.

“It feels… different. I’m not used to protect someone. All I’ve done in my life is harming others.”

“Well, I’m sure you had your motives. We all do. But you don’t strike me as a heartless killer.”

Levi’s pose unstiffened. Guess he should be glad Erwin could see so kindly past him.

“Did you kill many people?”

The past tense made Levi wonder if Erwin thought he wouldn’t again. Would Erwin make him, eventually?

“Wouldn’t like to know what number counts as many.”

Erwin began to unbutton his vest but the holes were so tiny he was struggling to open them. Levi noticed and stepped forward, hands reaching for it, but Erwin quickly shut them down.

“It’s alright, Levi. You’re my bodyguard, not my butler.”

Levi stood there, just a meter apart, while Erwin was undressing in front of him. He wasn’t sure what was expected of him at that point, and wasn’t bold enough to ask.

“I—I think I’m going to take a bath before going to bed. Can you please check the bath water? You may leave thereafter.”

Levi nodded and walked towards the bathroom. He checked the temperature and it was lukewarm, so he heated it up like he did with his, and stared into the water until steam began to appear.

He headed back to the living room and saw Erwin standing with his back turned. He had taken off his shirt, and his broad back was naked, full in sight.

What struck Levi wasn’t the nudity, but a huge yellow dragon ingrained on his skin, which covered the start of his spine all down to his tailbone.

Erwin turned around, and Levi saw how he was holding an open picture book on his hands. He quickly shut it and left it on the table.

“Thank you, Levi. That’d be all.”

Levi paced towards the threshold, but glanced at Erwin one last time.

“That’s… such a stunning tattoo.”

“Yeah? It’s weird because we never see ourselves from the back. I mostly forget I have it,” he confessed. His eyes showed hints of fatigue, too. “Will you be up to get yours soon? Our family artist is one of the finest.”

 _Right_. A yakuza tattoo covering his whole back would be right next on the duty list. Levi actually didn’t mind.

“I guess.”

“We shall arrange that soon, then. Good night, Levi.”

“Good night, Erwin. Sleep tight.”

“You too.”

Once Levi shut the door of Erwin’s apartment, he felt the freezing cold night for the first time since they’d left the restaurant.

Levi dreamt of dragons that night.

Powerful creatures swimming in restless waters, clawing and growling at each other. Levi was awestruck by one of them in particular, more impressive and perilous than the rest. As he got closer, a colossal yellow dragon unwound and splashed out of the water. As it flew in the air, it turned into a human figure, and carved into his back.

The dragon began to move and twirl on his skin, as if fighting to be released, and the muscles on the stout back held it in place. They contracted, and arched, and were leaving shadows which forcefully ignited the dragon’s claws.

Levi recognized Erwin and immediately ran towards him.

His hands yearned to touch him, so he leaned forward, temperature rising, and when his fingers touched the bare yet colourful inked skin, the dragon spiraled out of Erwin’s back and charged at him. Its mouth was wide open, flying in a swinging motion, and Levi only saw black by the time the dragon engulfed him.

Blackness also filled the room which Levi woke up in, sweat all over his forehead and chest, and an agitated thrill coiling down inside of him.

Ashamed, Levi realized that definitely hadn’t been a nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmm someone’s getting attached…  
>   
> this chapter’s been a monster to write (over 8k w t f) and it’s still quite the beginning. I’m afraid to complete the rest now lol. I hope this won’t get too boring or dense for you guys ;_; thanks a lot for reading, and any comment or critique are greatly appreciated.  
> next chapter will include a couple scenes I’m very hyped about plus more supporting cast appearances, so please look forward to it.  
>   
> see you soon on chapter 3: _wish you were_.


	3. wish you were

* * *

_well, dear_

_all my peers are drowning in their past_

_so i'd rather be_

_right here_

[ _wish you were_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOwuFZnXNs4)

* * *

Levi spent his first Saturday since he’d joined the Shiganshina clan doing house chores and the weekly grocery shopping.

He wondered what Erwin was doing, though. He’d turned from being a complete loner to becoming someone else’s shadow in the short span of a week. During solitary moments like this which he’d always dwelt in, something else entirely new – a hollow feeling, had begun to linger. It wasn’t so ordinary to be by himself anymore.

In the afternoon, he didn’t feel like staying at home and went out for a jog. He didn’t know the neighbourhood that well yet, since most of his walks were to the offices. He saw quite many friends and couples wandering on the streets, chatting in cafés or going shopping. He kept running for an hour along emptier streets where the chilly breeze was stronger.

When he was getting back, his phone beeped. He’d received a text from Erwin.

_[18:31] Hi, Levi. It’s Erwin._

_[18:31] How are you today?_

Levi found it comical that Erwin introduced himself in the message as if he hadn’t registered his name as a contact in the first place.

 _[18:32]_ _i’m good. went out for a run. you?_

Erwin’s answer didn’t take long.

_[18:34] Oh, it’s indeed a wonderful evening for a run. We could go together next time, if that’s okay with you._

_[18:35] I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get a bit of a hangover this morning. It’s all gone by now, though._

_[18:36] it’s fine by me. i was getting to know this area of the city better_

Levi arrived at his front gate and checked his phone to see yet another message from Erwin.

_[18:39] That’s great to hear. Well, I’ll leave you to your things now. Have a nice evening, Levi._

_[18:48] you too, erwin_

Erwin’s candor still present even in his written language didn’t come to a surprise to Levi. It kind of felt comforting that a yakuza leader he’d met barely a week ago and had become his employer took the time to check up on him as if they’d shared years of experience together already. Such sympathy was contagious enough for Levi to reciprocate without realizing it.

He tapped on the phone screen to send his last text as he juggled his keys on his other hand in order to unlock his apartment’s door.

He hit the bath first thing to free himself from the mix of sweat and cold. Besides hunger, what he was grateful he’d left behind in his childhood was not being able to take hot baths whenever he pleased. Something so mundane yet so unattainable back in the day.

After he’d dried himself and put on some comfortable clothes, he headed to the living room to rest a bit. He wasn’t tired, but there wasn’t much for him to do. His eyes caught on the laptop Erwin had presumably left there for him to use. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do with it since his job didn’t include any kind of office work beside joining in meetings. He grabbed the laptop and sat on the sofa, legs crossed. He put it on a cushion over his lap and switched it on.

On the home screen, there appeared the basic programmes any computer offered. There was just a single folder, called _WOF_. Levi clicked on it, and his eyes half closed when he realized it was just official information about the company. All documents were stamped and politely redacted. He closed all windows.

He spent about thirty minutes playing _Blackjack_ , but that didn’t suffice. He checked the time – 20:09. He should probably make himself some meal, but the bath had left him a bit drowsy. He closed the laptop and placed it on the low table in front of him.

This was his first apartment with a TV of his own. Not that he cared much about it, but he grabbed the controller and switched it on with the expectation of entertaining himself for a while.

He skipped through the channels until what seemed like an action film caught his attention. It was amusing to watch scenes like those, and realize they mostly never matched reality.

The film showed a handsome blonde protagonist escaping a persecution of armed men around in the outskirts of a city. After some shooting and sneaking out, the protagonist arrived at what seemed his partner’s place. A petite and curvy woman whose eyes widened in shock when she saw the man covered in blood and sweat. The woman helped him with his wounds, cleaned him. It eventually led to the archetypal sex scene where the both of them got carried away by the intimate touching and vulnerability.

The protagonist was on top of her, the shot of the camera trailing down his bare back and ass, all well-toned, detailed muscles contracting and glistening with sweat around visible scars.

With his eyes static on the man on the screen, Levi began to touch himself.

He tried to cloud his thoughts in darkness, not confident of what they could turn into if he let himself imagine the unavoidable.

He didn’t let himself think this was stupid, either. He hopelessly craved it.

His breathing was louder than the high-pitched moans coming from the screen.

He chose to focus on the low grunts over them instead.

It didn’t take him long to come undone.

His body jerked against the backrest of the sofa, his head facing up, letting out a muffled moan, eyes squeezed shut.

The menacing image of the yellow dragon was looming, blurry, over Levi’s mind.

Levi’s morning run lasted longer than his evening one. He tried a different route, came across a large park with a distinct track to run along it. It was early Sunday and only a few people with their dogs or jogging came his way.

He spent more than an hour running at different paces. He pondered the idea of looking for a gym nearby in order to keep training his upper body, especially his arms, now that he’d become a bodyguard. He then realized that once he got the tattoo on his back, that would put him at risk in public places. He scrapped the idea and made notes in his head to buy some gym equipment to have home instead. He might ask Erwin about it.

Back into his apartment, his phone started to ring for the first time since he’d got it. On the screen, it displayed a call from _Erwin Smith_.

“Hi?” Levi greeted.

“ _Good morning, Levi_.”

“Hey. ‘Morning.”

“ _Did I interrupt any chores or plans?_ ”

“Not really. I’m not doing anything at the moment.”

“ _Alright. I was wondering if you’d like to come over this afternoon to have some tea?_ ”

“Come over? At yours?”

“ _Yes_ ,” there was a short silence. “ _There are a couple things I must give you_. _And the tea’s really good, if I do say so myself._ ”

A calm afternoon tea at Erwin’s on his shallow weekend sounded so enticing that Levi didn’t hesitate for a single second.

“Sure. Time?”

“ _Whenever you’re up to. I’ll be waiting._ ”

“Fine. I’ll show up at four or so.”

“ _Excellent. I’ll see you later then_.”

Levi headed to Erwin’s in casual clothes and his leather jacket. It was pretty cold even at early afternoon, but since they lived a couple minutes away from each other Levi didn’t have time to miss the warmth of a room.

He went upstairs to the floor he accompanied Erwin back on Friday night. He remembered clearly because it was the highest one in his block. He followed the corridor to the last door on the right and knocked on the door a few times.

Erwin welcomed him in no time, greeting him with a warm smile.

“There you are, Levi. Come in, please.”

Levi sunk his eyes on him – Erwin was in casual clothes for the first time since he’d met him, a dark green sweater and grey pants. Such image was uncommon – he seemed less imposing without his usual expensive tailored suits.

Erwin led him towards the living room, where he’d already prepared the table with a couple of exquisite porcelain teacups and a plate with biscuits. On the other hand, his sofa was covered with stacks of files and papers on one end.

Levi’s eyes swept the room curiously.

“You’ve been working?” he asked while hanging his jacket on the back of a chair.

“Quite a bit, I’m afraid,” Erwin responded, following Levi’s glance at the piles of papers. “There’s not much else to do on a Sunday, is it?”

Levi cocked his head.

“Rest, maybe.”

Erwin flashed him another smile.

“Well, that’s why you’re here. Shall I heat up the teapot?”

“Go ahead.”

Erwin marched towards the kitchen and Levi sat on his chair. Now that the sun was still out, the living room was way brighter than the night he accompanied Erwin after his acceptance ceremony. There was a double window door on the other side of the room, half covered with white curtains fading distant sunbeams. Levi could take a glimpse of what seemed a small balcony.

Erwin returned with a teapot and sat down in front of Levi. He started by pouring Levi his full cup and then filled his own.

“Are you a tea connoisseur too, Levi?”

“Let’s say I appreciate good drinks, which includes tea as well.”

“Ah, right, I remember that’s what you asked me at the ceremony.”

Levi grabbed his cup but the top and took a quick sip. Erwin was eyeing him expectantly, holding his cup.

“It’s really nice,” Levi admitted. It definitely was one of the finest teas he’d tasted.

Erwin’s lips curved gladly and drank from his cup, too.

“You’re welcome to join my Sunday afternoons whenever you please. It’s much better to relish the flavour with some company.”

“I might be up for that,” Levi responded, taking another sip while attempting to hide a sudden feeling of warmth and comfort on his face.

“How’s been your first leisure weekend after working this very first week with us?”

Levi’s throat was still savouring the tea of his last sip before he spoke.

“Actually, a bit boring. I went for a run again this morning. There isn’t much for me to do on my own. I really have no hobbies or distractions besides work. Never had the chance, even.”

Erwin seemed to nod faintly.

“I think I can understand you on that matter. Well, I hope you’ll count on me for any kind of activity to break away from work. I’m your boss but I’d also like to be your friend.”

Erwin’s sincerity took Levi by surprise, but he couldn’t deny it felt nice to hear it.

“It’s… weird. All this.”

“All this?” Erwin echoed.

“Me being a yakuza leader’s bodyguard. Being a member of the clan. Having an amazing flat, salary… stability. It’s fucking weird.”

“Oh, that.”

Levi stirred his little spoon inside his cup absent-mindedly.

“I… think you’re a great man, Erwin.”

Now it was Erwin’s turn to show surprise.

“I thought you were a rich prick. Flaunting your superiority, power, wealth. But the funny thing is that you’re none of that.”

“I’m not sure if that’s supposed to be a compliment, but thank you, Levi,” Erwin flashed another of his well-mannered smiles, and Levi almost mirrored him.

“It is.”

They both drank from their cups.

“You mentioned you had something to give me?” Levi recalled to their early call that morning.

Erwin hummed and used a handkerchief to pat on his mouth.

“I assume you’ve got weapons.”

Levi’s gaze lifted.

“My knives. And an old gun.”

“Just that?” Levi frowned, and Erwin kept staring at him. “Hm—I guess I expected you’d have more than that, taking into account who you worked with.”

“You mean Lovof? Most of his tasks involved infiltration or extorsion. I didn’t need much for that.”

Erwin’s eyebrows creased lightly.

“People use far more for less complex tasks.”

Levi shrugged. “I guess I’m not like most people.”

Erwin stood up and headed to his bedroom. He came back with a metal box and placed it on the table. Inside, there was a black 9mm pistol.

“There’s no need to carry it every day. Just when you deem it necessary. For the meantime, I trust you with your expertise in knife swinging.”

Levi’s lips curved upwards, recalling their first encounter.

“What is more important, however,” Erwin continued, and picked up something tiny from the bottom of the box, “is this.”

A round silver pin with the symbol Levi had seen in Lovof’s file about Erwin. The Wings of Freedom engraved in relief.

“This is Shiganshina’s family crest. You are to wear it on your chest with pride from now on.”

Erwin held it up under Levi’s silent attention. Levi accepted it and proceeded to pin it on the left side of his shirt. He’d change it to his suit jacket’s lapel later.

They’d finished their tea, and Erwin grabbed a cigarette packet from the lower table by the sofa.

“Do you mind if I smoke?” he asked Levi, packet in hand.

“It’s your place.”

“It’s polite to ask guests anyway. Wouldn’t like to make you uncomfortable if you hate the smell.”

“I don’t mind.”

Levi was reminded of the first day at Erwin’s office, lighting up his cigarette. The memory of its unpleasant smell had worn off.

Erwin took a cig out and lit it up, pacing towards the wide window doors.

“Levi, come,” he called him, brushing the curtains away.

Levi followed him, sunset already in view in the horizon. As Erwin’s flat was in the highest floor of the building, plenty of the rest of buildings which his balcony faced were lower, so there was barely nothing that blocked the mesmerizing city nightlife.

Levi’s eyes glowed, absorbing the auburn sky that surrounded them. He got closer to the balustrade and leaned forward, arms crossed on its railing.

“Such nice views you got here.”

Erwin mirrored him, standing a few inches apart. He was taking slow drags on his cigarette.

“I know. I spend a lot of time staring at this sight every night. Brings me much peace.”

Levi remembered their short talk back in the cab when they visited Shadis.

_Unlike others, most nights bring me peace._

“Regarding Lovof,” Levi began, echoing their early convo about his previous job, “has he contacted you? Any message, threat?”

Erwin blew some smoke out of his lungs.

“Nothing has come forth. Wouldn’t it make more sense that he contacted you instead?”

“I threw away my phone. If he had, I wouldn’t know. That’s why I asked.”

Erwin chuckled with deep guttural sounds and his chest shook faintly.

“That’s one way to get rid of your past.”

“Wish all my past were in that damn phone so I could forget about it.”

Erwin turned to Levi, his eyes curious and glistening behind the thin threads of smoke that flowed around him.

“May I ask about it? Your past?”

Levi cocked his head to return his gaze.

“What do you want to know?”

“I only know that you’re a tough guy who used to work for gangs. Who were you before that?”

“That’s all I’ve been, actually.”

Erwin’s eyebrows were frowning, and Levi glanced at him with pity. Did Erwin think more highly of him? Presumed he was a better man?

“I’m an orphan, survived the streets on my own. Stole, harmed, murdered. Those are all my achievements.”

Erwin finished his cigarette and put it out on the ashtray by the corner of the balcony.

“Interesting. So you’ve made yourself this way in order to subsist. No wonder you’re so committed. I understand now, the moment I saw such hatred in your eyes.”

Levi knew he carried loads of loathing and despair on his eyes, shoulders, soul. It was a part of him imprinted in every cell, a reminder of who he was. His past and memories were the only thing he couldn’t ever discard – otherwise, he’d be left out as an empty shell of a man.

“We’re very alike, Levi. Different upbringings, but same goals. Isn’t that what matters? The future, not the past.”

 _Same goals_ , Levi echoed.

_What are our goals? What’s our future?_

The sky was getting darker, most of dawn’s warm scene gone and faded into a brisk shade of blue and grey. Levi stretched his arms and stood facing Erwin.

Erwin was looking at him as if expecting something in response. Levi took a last glimpse of the night sky.

“Let’s hope to share more peaceful nights like this, then,” and he headed back in to the room.

Levi didn’t see how Erwin followed him with an earnest grin on his face.

Levi confirmed how good of a confidant Erwin was. They spoke for another hour as if they’d known each other for years. It was so easy to talk to him that Levi slipped details of his childhood and past jobs which were only present in his thoughts. Erwin listened to him without questioning – He acknowledged and welcomed who Levi was without a trace of judgement. While Erwin seemed to learn more about him, Levi still knew nothing about Erwin. He felt the curiosity to ask back, but there was still an invisible aura around him that made Levi reluctant to ask. Perhaps Erwin would tell him whenever he considered it appropriate.

Temperature had fallen abruptly in a couple hours that evening. Levi was getting hungry and Erwin seemed to read his mind.

“Would you like to go out for a meal, Levi? I know a good place around the block.”

“Sounds good.”

“Alright, then let’s get ready to leave. Let me grab my coat, it looks really chilly tonight.”

While Erwin went to his room, Levi took the teapot and cups to the kitchen sink and cleaned the table.

Erwin came back in a thick brown winter coat and lacing a scarf around his neck. He signaled Levi to the threshold and both left the apartment.

The place Erwin referred to was a local tavern which served exquisite meat. The place was quite small, most of the customers were sitting on stools by the counter. There were only three tables but they were empty. They chose to sit in the one farthest from the rest so they could chat without concern.

“By the way,” Erwin began once they’d ordered their meals, “there’s another matter we had to discuss for this week. Your tattoo.”

Levi’s attention clashed with diverted thoughts. The image of Erwin’s dragon dawned on him.

“Yeah. I’m fine getting it whenever.”

“You know getting inked is a family ritual as well?”

“So I’ve heard. You choose your drawing according to your personality.”

“That’s the gist of it. Although the artist will see right through you and assist you with the best idea.”

Levi took a long gulp of his beer and glanced at Erwin, expectantly.

“You mentioned Shiganshina has a good one. He did everyone’s tattoo then?”

“She,” Erwin corrected. “That’s right. Her skills are highly commendable and puts all her heart and soul on his works. There’s no better artist around. I think it’s on your phone contact list as well – Mikasa Ackerman.”

Levi listened attentively to everything Erwin was telling him.

“Is she a member of the clan, too?”

“Women can’t be actual members or leaders, but some have roles of power, especially if they’re a lieutenant’s wife or daughter. Mikasa’s case is different. Well, not only her—”

Erwin seemed to stutter over what he was trying to say.

“Have you looked at the official documents in your laptop?”

“Uh—I kind of skimmed through them,” Levi declared.

“In those files there’s the complete list of businesses under the Shiganshina clan. One of them is Wings of Freedom, another is Paradis.”

Levi seemed to recall reading that name vaguely.

“Paradis,” Erwin continued, “is our nightclub and hostess assistant business in the Maria district, which I control.”

“Hostess? Really?” Levi knew some yakuza dealt with prostitution but he couldn’t quite imagine Erwin behind it.

“They’re not what you may think,” yet another time Erwin read his mind. “We’ve actually taken care of most of the women working there, gave them a second chance in life. They’re actually not under my command directly, but another woman’s kind care and vigilance.”

Levi kept listening interestedly.

“Mikasa’s tattoo studio is part of Paradis, so to say. She works on her own, but can count on us whenever she might be in need,” Erwin concluded, and took a long gulp from his beer. “How about I contact her first thing tomorrow to check when we can set your first appointment?”

“Sounds fine to me.”

Levi wondered what he’d get on his back. He guessed it wasn’t going to be a dragon like Erwin’s. Not that being surrounded by more dragons was what he really needed at that time.

He would know before long.

Monday morning went by quite swiftly. Erwin had asked Levi to accompany him to a meeting with a broker concerning last week’s deals in the stock market. The company seemed to be in a good place financially and the benefits were increasing modestly well.

When they were coming back to the office a bit earlier than lunchtime, Erwin received a text which concerned Levi.

“Mikasa’s just replied to me. She says she’s got Tuesday afternoon free for several hours, which is what you may need for your first session.”

Levi nodded in agreement, and Erwin quickly texted back.

“That’s settled then.”

During the following day, Levi’s thoughts roamed around his upcoming tattoo. At times, when he was walking behind Erwin, he could remember exactly how the dragon on his back looked like, even if he’d only taken a glimpse for some seconds. He wondered what kind of design could be in store for him.

On that Tuesday afternoon, both Erwin and Levi left the offices together. Erwin offered to take him to the tattoo studio and introduce him to the artist.

The place was not far away, since it only took barely 10 minutes by car to arrive. Levi stared around that area that he hadn’t visited before – the nightclub life in the district. The Maria district, as Erwin had called it before. This area of the city was unexplored to Levi – the majority of places he’d been into and worked on were the northerner areas. Although all nocturnal entertainment looked similar, this one still caught his attention.

It was still daylight so the neon signs weren’t as vibrant as they’d be in a few hours’ time, but some of them were already flickering red and yellow among the façades and narrow alleys.

Levi’s attention caught on a couple men in suits as well staring at them and whispering, and so he strode a couple steps ahead of Erwin.

“It’s okay, Levi,” Erwin noticed at his sudden on guard posture. “This is our area, nobody would dare to lay a finger on us here.”

 _On you, not us_ , Levi’s mind corrected.

Erwin paced towards one alley that opened wider where several establishments had their doors open although mostly empty at that early hour. Levi glanced and he spotted a casino, a couple bars and a DVD rental. Erwin led the way forward until he stopped in front of big neon sign with the shape of a half moon and the word _PARADIS_ flashing in several warm colours.

_So this is the hostess bar._

Erwin opened the luxurious front gate and they were welcomed by a big hall with dim reddish lights and a low jazz tune in the background. They crossed the empty hall, and Levi dragged his feet on the black and white marble floor. He certainly didn’t expect the place to be so opulent in its design.

After the hall, there was the lounge area with a bar and plenty of tables with red velvet couches, separated by tinted glass to give more privacy. There were no customers sitting on the tables, but Levi saw a couple salarymen on the stools opposite the bar counter.

Erwin headed there and talked to the bartender who was mixing some cocktails.

“Sir,” saluted the woman with a surprised face. Her skin was marked by tons of freckles. “Pleasure to see you around.”

“Likewise, Ymir. We’ve come for an appointment with Mikasa.”

Ymir’s eyes travelled from Erwin to Levi, curiously scanning his figure. Levi could read she was probably perplexed someone like him was in the clan. She quickly turned away back to Erwin.

“Historia’s in the office, by the way. If you want to see her.”

“Oh, that’s nice. I’ll go say hi right away. Thank you for everything, as always, Ymir.”

Ymir bowed her head gently and resumed pouring a drink in the customer’s glass.

They walked to a secluded area where there were a couple black doors with a lock. Erwin knocked on one, waited and then opened.

In middle of the room there was a petite young woman walking to them as if she was about to open the door herself but got interrupted. She had such a beautiful face – big blue eyes, round face and long bright blonde hair.

Levi was reminded of Erwin immediately.

“Erwin!” she shouted in a joyful tone.

“Hello my dear Historia,” she rushed to him and pulled him into a heartfelt embrace. “How have you been these past few weeks?”

“I’m so happy to see you! You don’t come to visit us so often…!”

“I know, I’m sorry. Work has been overwhelming lately,” Erwin patted her small head that barely reached his chest.

She stepped back, a broad grin and blushed cheeks showing on her face.

“Yeah, same old excuse. Don’t think I already know what you’re onto…” she finally noticed Levi behind Erwin, and cocked her head curiously. “Who’s this?”

Erwin took a step to the side and waved his hand at Levi.

“Meet Levi, my bodyguard.”

“What!? Bodyguard? Did someone attack you again?” she asked, hand over her mouth, visibly concerned.

Levi could see how Erwin tried to hide a playful smile.

“Everything’s alright. You needn’t worry. It’s just helpful to have some backup.”

Historia hummed not fully buying Erwin’s reply, and bowed in direction to Levi.

“Please keep looking after Erwin for a long time.”

Such a formal request coming from a woman like her struck Levi by surprise. He bowed in return.

Erwin stared at them both with a proud smile.

“We’ve come to get his tattoo. I’ll take him to the studio and we can have some tea later? Are you busy?”

“Hmmm—I was filing in some invoices for our dealers but I think I can slope off a bit.”

“That would be wonderful. I’ll come back shortly, then.”

“Okay! Nice to meet you, Levi! See you around,” she waved.

They left the office and Erwin took him to the left side of the lounge where a thick carpet went upstairs. Levi noticed for the first time how high the ceiling was and the big chandelier that hanged from it.

“Was that… your daughter?” Levi couldn’t wait to ask. He suspected she wasn’t but the resemblance was uncanny.

“I imagined you’d say that, since we look alike,” he admitted, and a warm smile adorned his face. “She’s not my daughter, but my protégée. It’s… a long story. I’ll tell you another time.”

On the second floor, there were a few more tables for customers, probably VIP area, since they were far apart from each other to secure more privacy. At the end of the aisle, there was a door with a staff sign. Erwin took out his keys and unlocked the door. Inside, there was a short corridor, walls white as if they were leading to an emergency exit, but they actually led them to another door. Erwin knocked and waited.

Who opened it was another woman, but completely opposite to Historia. She was tall, short black hair below her ears, and toned tattooed arms.

_Mikasa Ackerman, Shiganshina’s tattoo artist._

“Welcome,” she said, voice lower and warmer than what Levi had expected judging by her tough appearance.

“Hello Mikasa, it’s so good to see you again.”

Levi glanced around the studio – it was very small indeed, which confirmed the fact it was probably supposed to be a room designed for cleaning supplies or storing. However, the walls were all decorated with incredible drawings, sketches, and open scrolls in Chinese characters. There was a big cupboard stacked with small bottles and tattoo equipment. Finally, on one side, the massage table already covered in paper.

“I’ll let you both get to know each other. I’ll probably be gone when you finish today’s session, but meanwhile I’ll be downstairs having some tea with Historia. If you’d like anything, Mikasa, just ask.”

“Thank you, sir,” Mikasa replied very formally, and Erwin left.

Levi took off his jacket, and Mikasa pointed at a hanger by the door. She grabbed a thick folder and sat on her stool while flipping the pages with a focused expression.

“Your name’s Levi, right?” she asked, gaze still down.

“Yes.”

“How long you’ve been in Shiganshina?”

“This is actually my second week.”

Mikasa raised her eyes.

“And you’re already getting tattooed?”

“Is there supposed to be a fixed date for it?” he replied, sounding snarkier than he’d pretended.

She seemed to discard any retort.

“Probably not,” she muttered to herself.

Levi felt an odd feeling coming from Mikasa. As if her presence was familiar. Her figure was intimidating, but underneath that resilient looking figure, he could discern a fragile soul.

She stood up and left the folder open on her desk.

“Please undress and lie over there.”

Levi did as requested and unbuttoned his shirt quickly and left is on the hanger as well. He shivered slightly due to the lower temperature in that room. He lay facing downwards on the massage table and bent his arms, crossed beneath his chin.

Mikasa walked over and Levi heard the tight sound of latex gloves being put on. Then, she rubbed a wet piece of cloth all over his back a few times. The strong smell of alcohol impregned the air.

“You’ve got a few large scars.”

Levi had closed his eyes.

“Have I?”

A metallic sound of something rolling on the floor, probably a portable table.

“I guess you’ll bear the pain just fine.”

“I’m not bothered by needles.”

“I don’t use regular electric needles. My tattoos are done the traditional way, using the poking technique. It takes more time but has better results.”

“Sounds fine to me.”

“Okay, so…” she began, and Levi cocked his head to look at her. “Have you thought about what animal or deity represents you?”

Levi had no idea about what could represent him well enough to carry it on his back for the rest of his life.

“Erwin told me you would come up with the best option.”

Mikasa’s expression remained serious and formal, but softer when Erwin was mentioned.

“Erwin is a dragon. Dragons are protectors of humanity – they represent bravery and wisdom. Plus its colour is yellow… which means he’s a very noble companion.”

Levi processed that information as something so obvious it foolishly dawned on him how appropriate it was for someone like him.

“You’re his bodyguard. The bond between you both must be strong and personal. That should also be recognizable in your own bodies.”

That, Levi could also agree with.

“Are you an ambitious man?” Mikasa continued. “Have you got a continuous drive to go onward?”

“I’ve fought to keep myself alive all these years through the worst of choices.”

Mikasa hummed softly, pensive.

“I can see you’ve made it through tough times. Our skin, our bodies… never lie,” her eyes landed on Levi’s back, the scars all over him the living proof of his perseverance. “Do you like the sea?”

“I’ve only seen it in pictures. In films.”

“And are you afraid of the current? Would you swim against it, clinging to overcome even the heaviest of waterfalls?”

Levi frowned. The talk was getting too metaphorical for a damn drawing.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Would you like to become a dragon, like Erwin?”

_I’m no dragon._

“I haven’t—got what Erwin has.”

“Of course not,” she promptly declared, “but the legend says the _koi_ fish can become a dragon if it swims upstream towards the dragon gate.”

Levi hadn’t heard about that legend, but assumed a carp would fit him, somehow.

“You must become someone who Erwin can rely on at all times. And your dedication to him must be unlimited.”

Well, he certainly had shaped his new life around Erwin, so hearing he should dedicate it fully to Erwin didn’t come as a surprise.

“I like it. The _koi_ fish. Let’s go with that,” Levi addressed in a firm voice, and turned his head to face away, resting his cheek on the back of his palm.

Mikasa shifted on her stool and grabbed her folder. She sneaked out a paper with a _koi_ fish design.

“You don’t want to see it?” she asked.

“I trust your judgement and skills. Go ahead.”

The first session lasted for nearly 5 hours. Mikasa worked meticulously without taking a break for more than 5 minutes. Levi endured the pain better than he’d imagined. After the first hour, the piercing sensation carving his skin turned into a heavy pressure that extended in short waves. It felt as if he was carrying a heavier weight as minutes passed by. The pain made his mind go blank and embrace the only sound that filled the air – the repetitive clicking sound of Mikasa’s inked brush poking onto his flesh.

They agreed on the next session that same week, leaving a couple days to get his skin to get used to the first time. Mikasa ordered him to use an ointment regularly to calm the swelling.

Levi’s days went by more relaxingly than usual. Erwin stayed in his office more often doing paperwork and phone calls. Levi spent most of his time downstairs helping Hange and other subordinates with clients.

The second inking session took as long as the first one, but less painful. Levi kept refusing Mikasa’s offer to show him how the tattoo looked, and basically rested in silence while she worked. She told him the black outline and basic shading of the carp would probably be done in one more long session that same week.

Erwin invited him over for another tea at the weekend, but Levi was so exhausted he declined. He just felt like falling onto his bed and pray the itching and swelling on his back would be gone soon. Erwin seemed to understand.

Levi really missed the smell and taste of that tea in Erwin’s company.

Mikasa finished Levi’s tattoo on Saturday night. She remarked Levi’s skin was adapting and healing the older inked lines pretty well.

“We’ll take this upcoming week off for your skin to heal properly and then will begin with the full colouring. Which will take us much longer to complete, however.”

“You’ve been working your ass off with it. I don’t mind if it takes more time.”

Mikasa blushed by the bluntness and gently bowed in appreciation.

“Keep it moisturized and avoid any scratching or extreme temperature.”

“Will do. Thank you,” Levi assured, and left the studio.

He used the emergency exit on the other side of the studio so he wouldn’t enter the main hall with all the Paradis clientele chatting and drinking in their tables.

When in contact with the exterior after the painful session he was greeted by yet another freezing evening and strong wind. It wouldn’t take much longer to have the first snowing of the season.

Levi checked his phone and had a missed call from Erwin, a text from Hange ( _YOOOO is it done already or not?? show me !!now!_ ) and another from Jean ( _hey levi so connie suggested that we should take a photo of our backs once yours is done i told him youd say no but im asking as a good friend anyway gnite_ ).

He returned Erwin’s call.

After long beeps, Erwin picked up.

“ _Levi. Hello._ ”

“Hi. Just saw your missed call.”

“ _Yes. Well, it was nothing really. Just meaning to know how everything went._ ”

“I’m done with the outlines. We’ll start colour next week.”

“ _That’s great. You holding up well with the pain?_ ”

“Kind of. It’s mostly swelling now, and that’s uncomfortable,” Levi raised his arm by the road to stop a cab. “I’m heading home now. I know it’s late but we can meet up for a drink, if you’re up to.”

They couldn’t have tea but a drink could do as much.

“ _Oh, definitely. I’m actually still at the office._ ”

“At this hour?”

_Such a workaholic masochist._

“ _I know, I know,_ ” Erwin replied half-jokingly. “ _I’m leaving now. Should I head to yours?_ ”

“Uh—” Levi had thought of going to a bar, but staying in didn’t sound like a bad plan either. “Sure. Wait for me at the entrance if you get there before I do.”

“ _Alright._ ”

They hung up and Levi got in the car.

Erwin was indeed waiting for him already in front of his building. He seemed almost as tired as Levi, but his pleased expression masked it underneath.

Once inside Levi’s flat, they took their jackets off and Levi turned on the heating. The living room was freezing cold.

“What can I get you? Got most of ‘em,” Levi asked heading to the kitchen.

“I’d rather not drink tonight,” he heard Erwin said a few meters away.

“Huh—sure,” Levi dragged his feet away from the alcohol cabin. “Tea then?”

Erwin was standing by the kitchen door with an apology smile.

“Please.”

Levi heated the pot for two and put it with a couple cups on a tray. Erwin’s gaze didn’t seem to leave him for a second.

“It’s not as good as yours,” Levi confessed while setting the tray on the low table in front of the sofa.

“That won’t be an issue.”

They both sat down and Levi let out a tired moan.

“Fuck. I needed to sit like this.”

“It’s been such a busy week for you. Thank you for inviting me over when you’re clearly exhausted.”

“It’s fine. I owed you some teatime anyway.”

“True,” Erwin muttered and took a short sip from his cup. “I assume you got on well with Mikasa. I kept thinking later that day what struck me as odd when I saw you both in the same room – you resemble each other, in a way.”

“We do?” that was what Levi had thought as well.

Erwin nodded and drank again, longer this time.

“Cold appearance, soft heart.”

“I do _not_ have a soft heart.”

“Come on, Levi. It’s been two weeks already back-to-back for 10 hours a day. I think I’ve grasped the true core of your personality by now.”

Since when had Erwin started talking so openly?

Levi didn’t feel comfortable talking about himself, so he tried to change the subject.

“By soft heart you mean someone who has a protégée?”

Erwin chuckled faintly over his tea. He placed the cup back on its plate.

“Right. I promised to tell you the full story about Historia.”

Levi held his cup, warming his fingertips, and stared at Erwin, expectantly. His back felt heavy and he sensed sharp tingles so he rubbed himself lightly against the back of the sofa.

“Remember I told you Paradis was run by a woman who didn’t belong to the clan? That’s Historia. She’s the owner and manager of the place, with close ties to Shiganshina. She welcomes any girl in need of an income, for the only sake of making their life better. She makes sure they’re well assisted as hostesses and waitresses, and no customer can lay a finger on them.”

“But… she’s like, very young too,” Levi pointed out.

“Yes. She’s twenty now. That didn’t stop her from pursuing this path. And that is partly because of me,” Erwin took another sip from his tea. “Historia is actually the orphan of a _kumicho_ who was murdered about ten years ago. She was just a child, nobody wanted to take care of her since her mother was unknown. I wasn’t even thirty and didn’t harbor any doubts about taking her with me.”

Levi had been listening to Erwin as if captivated by this man’s fervent devoir.

“Do you always take care of others that much?”

“I try to balance out my sins with good deeds,” he responded with a gloomy smile. “So I kind of raised her together with the rest of the Shiganshina family. I guess she stills sees me as a father figure, even though she’s already an adult herself.”

“And you dared to say _I_ have a soft heart,” Levi resolved and the itching sensation resumed on his back, so he couldn’t help but wriggle his body hoping it would fade away.

Erwin glanced at him with a concerned look.

“Is it your tattoo? Does it itch?”

“Yes. A bit. Like the prick of a needle sometimes,” he arched his shoulders and shifted his weight on the sofa. “I know I’m not supposed to scratch but—”

He reached for his spine with one hand and gave himself a soft squeeze with his fingertips, and the itch slightly dissipated.

“Can I see it?” Erwin asked with a firm tone.

Levi faced him, confused.

“It’s not finished yet.”

“I know. I’d still like to see it.”

Levi doubted for a while, but Erwin’s gaze was held on his, unmovable.

“Okay,” he gave in and turned away facing the wall while unbuttoning his shirt.

Without the thin cotton layer on him, the itching almost disappeared.

He heard Erwin’s cup _clink_ on the plate, and the sound of his weight pressed over the leather of the sofa.

“A _koi_ fish. Of course,” he muttered, voice barely perceptible.

“What?”

“Nothing. Mikasa really knows how to bring out the very best. Looks gorgeous on you.”

Levi turned around and arched his back again, feeling much better.

“I think the shirt was giving me the itching.”

Erwin ogled his back one more time.

“Bring me the balm. I’ll put some on you.”

Levi jerked his head.

“What? You don’t need to.”

“It itches because it’s already dry.”

“I can do it myself though.”

“It’s hard to reach all areas in our own backs. It’s fine, just let me help.”

Levi held Erwin’s stern gaze as if he’d give up. He let out a sigh, and walked to the bathroom to take the ointment.

He tossed the round tin to Erwin and sat next to him, his back exposed.

“During the first weeks it is very important to keep it moisturized at all times. It won’t only sooth your skin but also preserve the ink just as vibrant.”

The sound of the uncapped tin travelled to Levi’s ears and his skin felt on edge.

Immediately after, Erwin traced a long line on his spine which sent a sharp tingle all over him. He then felt more fingers on his skin, brushing product from the top downwards in a swinging motion.

“Once you get everything colored up, your scars will be gone,” Levi heard him say very faintly.

Erwin spread some more balm right at the center. His touch was getting longer, deeper, warmer, and Levi’s mind was going places it shouldn’t.

He shivered when Erwin massaged more strongly at the center of his back, between his shoulder blades, hitting a tender spot.

“Erwin—” he didn’t plan his voice to sound so weak and shaky.

“Sorry. Are my hands too cold?”

_Too cold? Fuck._

He didn’t say anything.

He knew it was wrong to want Erwin to keep touching him like this, but he couldn’t muster any courage to ask him to stop. He kept looking down at his lap, his neck already painfully tight because of the tension travelling all around his body.

Erwin placed one hand on his left shoulder, firm grip holding him steady, while circling with his other hand, open palm massaging every spot on his back. Erwin’s touch mixed with the creamy balm was heating up his skin in the most pleasing yet intimidating way.

Levi didn’t want it to end.

He wasn’t sure for how long Erwin had been massaging his back, when the igniting touch stopped and the grip on his shoulder unclenched.

Erwin’s hand slipped down his back until his lack of touch kicked Levi back to reality.

However, soon enough his hand was replaced by another patch of warm skin under his neck. It was Erwin’s forehead resting against it.

Levi heard him sigh, sounding defeated. Erwin’s breath was hot on him, and Levi remained still. A smooth, wet touch was pressed on the spot where his breath still lingered.

Erwin’s lips on his skin.

_Fucking Erwin Smith._

Is what Levi managed to register in his mind before turning around abruptly and glare at him.

Erwin’s face was flushed, and his eyes were leering at him as if he wanted to devour him.

Levi couldn’t know, but he probably did as much.

He didn’t think twice and put his hand around Erwin’s neck, pulling him forcefully for a kiss.

Erwin didn’t resist but pressed his lips against Levi's with the same willingness, and parted them to then suck in. Levi felt a wave of heat in his mouth and Erwin's on his filling new angles.

His lips tasted of almond and rosehip scent.

Levi’s fingers grazed Erwin’s nape neatly shaved cut, the shortest of crisp hairs on his fingertips, neck broad and alive. It felt so good to touch him like this, so lively yet raw. Alternatively, Erwin’s hands were cupping his neck and squeezing eagerly, making Levi gasp for air more loudly.

They kissed each other hungrily, their hands on each other not leaving a hint of separation. Levi stuck out his tongue and met Erwin’s, which seemed reluctant at first but curled around his while their mouths clashed, sloppy sounds and hectic breath.

Levi’s hands travelled down Erwin’s back and clawed, just as sharp as his dragon’s underneath. Erwin reacted to that, jerking suddenly, and broke the kiss.

“Sorry,” he promptly said, leaning back away from Levi. “I— think I got carried away.”

 _Shit_. Isn’t that what Levi was supposed to say instead?

Erwin looked extremely troubled, as if he’d done something forbidden. It didn’t seem to cover shame or regret, and Levi tried to hold onto that.

“I should go. Let you rest.”

Erwin stood up, fixing his poorly adjusted tie under Levi’s dumbfounded expression.

“I’ll see you back at the office,” he mumbled, words too dragging for _fucking Erwin Smith_ , and fled the apartment with a dull slam of the door.

Levi couldn’t rest at all that night although he had forgotten about the swelling in his back. The only thing he could feel was what was left of Erwin’s taste in his mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the curious: [this is how Erwin’s tattoo looks](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e893d1f5d6ac6d1f74fcec084a02410d/06c7b4ca5ee73291-9c/s400x600/715d1634087a6b9d04bed4a1d86e4afed56dcb11.png) (it’s from the Yakuza videogames). I’m saving Levi’s for next chapter after it gets fully coloured.
> 
> SOOOOOO things finally got spicy. the sexual tension is gonna be all over the place now, plus sexy tattooed backs.  
> thank you for reading and sorry if you spot any grammar mistakes, I’m doing my best at proofreading but chapters are getting longer than I expected (I assumed they’d be like 5k each tops lol). by the way, I edited the total number of chapters to 6 instead of 5, cuz I can’t fit what’s left in only 2 more….
> 
> see you on next chapter: _end of the world._


End file.
